Finding my Worth

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, 

there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 

And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's descendants, 

heirs according to promise.

 - Galatians 3:28-29

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My female heart has been struggling lately to remember where my worth comes from. Since getting pregnant, I have struggled with my changing body, and how I fit so far outside of what society tells me I need to be. 

I felt extreme pressure through my pregnancy to not gain too much weight, as if I needed to apologize for going up a pant size while Katelyn was growing within me. I remember feeling ashamed as someone I knew said: "You want to be careful, dear, you're not a small girl!", as if I shouldn't have children because of my size.  

When I learned I was pregnant, I told myself I wouldn't gain over 25lbs, and I would lose them quickly after. But when all was said and done, I'd gained 28lbs the week I delivered Katelyn,  and now 6 months into her precious little life, I still have not been able to shed 12 of those pesky pounds. 

Shame, embarrassment, and fear have crept into my heart these last months, and at times I've even felt unlovable in my new body, scarred from a c-section, and worried that Andrew and the girls would be embarrassed by me too. 

And though I have been exercising and eating healthy options, my weight loss journey has become a trial, and has been wearing me down little by little instead of encouraging me to keep going. And the answer to why this has happened is simple: I lost sight of who I am, and Who my worth comes from. 

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The Bible tells us that when we are in Christ, we become heirs with Christ, children of the Most High God. We are told that God adopts us as His own children, and loves us and cares for us, and that we will reign with Him forever.    

Do you realize what this means? I am a daughter of The King! The King of Kings, The Creator of the universe! God has called me His own, He has put His stamp on me, He has said I am enough. Just the way I am. 

And no, I may not look like Mom's I see at the store, I may never fit into a perfect size 6, but God has said I'm enough, no matter what size I am. God has given me worth, and no man on earth could ever take that away. 

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I'm sharing this deeply personal struggle with you all because I think there may be times in all of our lives when we struggle to find our true identity in Christ. There are times we feel worthless at our job, under appreciated at home, struggling to keep up with society, and placing false worth on things that are really fleeting and unimportant. 

In the end, all we will have are our souls, and I know that because of Christ and His sacrifice for me, my soul will reign forever with God, and it won't matter what my pant size was. When I am sitting at the throne of God, worshipping Him, and fulfilling the purpose of why I was truly created, it won't matter what status I held on earth. 

My worth lies in a greater place, my worth comes from my Savior, and I'm trying to keep my focus on that.