Hope in The LORD

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 

Even youths grow tired and weary, 

and young men stumble and fall; 

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

they will run and not grow weary, 

they will walk and not be faint." 

- Isaiah 40: 29-31

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I don't know if there's anything more encouraging in this life than to know that our Savior God is in control. 

Life gets crazy, we lose jobs, we are faced with hard decisions, loved ones die, we are persecuted, we absorb pressure from the world, and we grow weary, don't we? It's part of life, and it's easy to be overcome with emotional fatigue. 

I talk to a lot of women who tell me how tired they are. They feel the weight of the world on their shoulders, and at times, it's very hard to escape the feeling of a crushed spirit. Women, I believe, are more susceptible to this feeling. We are often the "feelers" of this world, wanting to comfort, wanting to mend, needing to be heard and understood, and ultimately, protected. Men, on the other hand, are so different. Men need to fix. Men move on quickly, and often their needs are more practical than ours. Their fatigue is felt more in a physical way, but it is still just as real. We as humans are very needy people. We are broken, and it is impossible for us to fix ourselves. 

But the good news is that God designed men and women to compliment one another, and greater still, is that our Creator God designed our relationship with Him to be one of complete dependance. We are not designed to walk through this world alone. We are designed to fulfill a perfect relationship with our Creator God, Who, dying on the cross, took our sins, and made a way for us to be in complete union with Him at all times. The Holy Spirit now dwells within us, and we are never alone, and we never need to wade through the struggles of this life alone. 

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak…"

If you are feeling as if you have nothing left to face this new week with, than take heart, God has promised to give you strength, and He promises to give you what you need to keep going. Though we are tired, and feeling like we are at the end of ourselves, God's power is still mighty, and He does not grow weary. He will come to you and rescue you, knowing that there is nothing you can do on your own! 

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength…"

So often we try to do life within our own strength, and that is why we feel so tired. We try to fix our situations ourselves, assuming that we know what is best. We run after the desires of our hearts, based on worldly standards, and so often lose sight of what's really important in this life. We set our eyes on a prize that was never meant for us, and we feel crushed with disappointment when those dreams don't come to fruition. We put hope in ourselves, and trick ourselves into thinking that we're in control. 

But we're not. God is. 

Our job, as His children, is to depend on Him. 

What does it mean to hope in The LORD? What does it mean to rest in Him, and find our strength in Him? It means submission. It means letting go. It means letting God take your life, and do with it what He wants, and allowing Him to fill your heart with peace when you finally surrender and lay everything down at His feet! 

He will take care of us, but we need to let Him. We need to be willing to surrender and place our hope in The God of heaven Who created you, loves you, redeemed you, and has a perfect plan for your life. 

You don't need to feel crushed in spirit, you don't need to feel weary. Lay it all down at Jesus' feet, and allow Him to minister to your heart, filling you with hope and strength for a new day. Face tomorrow with peace, knowing that God is with you, and there is nothing in this world that can ever touch you, because you are filled with The Holy Spirit who is sustaining you! 

There is no greater comfort than that. 

Moments of Crisis

"I sought the LORD, and He answered me; 

He delivered me from all my fears." 

- Psalm 34:4

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One of our daughters has been struggling lately, re-living the death of her Mom, questioning if there's a God, questioning whether there really is a Heaven or not, and if there is- if she can really go there and see her Mom again one day. She's been questioning my relationship with her Dad, our marriage, and our new family.

This has been a really difficult time for us, watching her navigate these feelings, trying to answer her questions and reassure her, and then also having to stand back at times, realizing that so many of these questions she's going to have to answer herself. 

I can't force belief. I can't force faith. 

We all desire for our children to grow in the knowledge and strength of our LORD. We all desire for them to love Jesus, depend on Him, follow Him, and choose Him over all else. We want them to grow in inner beauty, dignity, patience, kindness, love, humility, generosity, and every good thing that God intends for us…

But what do we do as parents, when our children choose another path? What do we do with their questions, their doubt, and their unbelief? What do we do when they hit a crisis of faith? 

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This has been an enormous weight for me to carry, because I so desperately want my children to follow God. We've instructed them, lived out our lives before them, demonstrated faith in action, and my golly, we've also sat them down and drilled it into their heads! Again and again we've talked, and explained, and defended…yet here we are...with a questioning adolescent. 

God's had to heal my heart through this, had to reassure me that it's not a problem I'm causing, and that questions are part of life, and yes, part of growing our faith too. Through this process, I have learned that sometimes it's THROUGH our doubt, that God can answer us more clearly, and reveal His truth to us. 

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Scripture tells us to seek God, to give Him our fears and doubts, and that He will hear us and help us. 

"I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears." - Psalm 34:4

We have a God who is not afraid of our doubt. We do not have a God who is far off. He gently tells His children to come to Him, sit on His lap, talk a while, and pour out our hearts. We can go to Him for all of our needs, and even when we're having a hard time believing, we can limp our way to Him and trust that He will restore our faith. 

These moments need not turn into moments of crisis, when we rest in the truth that our Father God is always near, and always willing to deliver us. God is with my doubting child. He is with her when she's hurting and afraid. He will carry her through this season of grief, and He will restore her! 

And God is with us too, weary parent. He will strengthen our hearts, give us the words we need to say, and He will give us wisdom to know when it's best to say nothing at all. Our job is to help our children, but ultimately it is always God who heals and brings comfort. He is the deliverer of all our fears. 

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As a parent, I need to find my rest in that promise. I need to trust that my Father God is in control, and allow that to bring me peace and relief! We don't need to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, and we don't need to worry. We can encourage our children to go to God with their questions, we can seek Him together as a family, and we can wait for Him to deliver us through every hardship. 

Rest

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for The LORD has been good to you." 

- Psalm 116:7

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Today is the 14th anniversary of the 9/11 attack on our country. If I turn on the news right now, the still horrific images will be plastered across my screen, victims and heroes are being interviewed, and everyone is remembering... 

It's easy to remember the fear we all felt that day. It's easy to remember the terror, the devastation, the death, and the evil that took place that day. Our minds hold onto those feelings, and as a nation, we'll never forget. 

But as Christians, we have to understand that pain and destruction are not the end. We do not live in fear of what has happened, or what may come, because we know that God is still in control, and through every event that comes, He is still good. 

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Our scripture today tells us to be at rest once more, for The LORD has been good to us. But what does that mean? How do we live a life of rest, when our world is in such turmoil? Quieting our minds and hearts can be hard, but it's something we have to learn to do in order to live in God's rest. 

God does not desire for us to be slaves to worry and fear, He does not want us to live our lives encumbered by the "what if's" of this world, afraid of what's around the corner. Instead, God desires for us to rest in Him. 

He has left with us His Holy Spirit, Whom now dwells within us, and is present with us to give us comfort and peace, and all we need to do is ask Him for it. God desires to pour out His love and healing presence over you, He desires that we give Him our worries and our doubts, in order that we might clear our minds and hearts and feel true peace which only He can give. 

We find our rest, when we talk to The LORD. We find our peace when we let His words comfort us. We find strength and courage for a new day when we reflect on what He's already done, and remind ourselves that He has always been faithful in the past, and He has promised to remain faithful in our future. 

When we trust God to take care of us, and to answer our prayers, that's when true rest comes. When we give up control, give over our worries, and rely on The God of Heaven, Who is working everything out for our good. 

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As we remember 9/11, let us take time to also remember that The LORD has been good to us, He has taken care of us, and we are safe in Him. 

Rest, dear friend, take a breath. 

Allow God's soft voice to whisper to your heart today, and let Him wash away all of your fears. Our God is in control, and we have nothing left to fear. 

Just rest. 

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A New School Year

Bookbags are packed, paperwork is signed, new shoes are waiting by the front door, and clothes have been tried on, discarded, tried on again, and finally picked and set out. Tomorrow is the first day of school, and we are all a little nervous. 

I am watching my 8th and 6th graders prepare for a new year, and in my heart I'm preparing too. I'm nervous because I can't be there to walk the school hallways with them, I can't hold their hands and lead them to the right desk in class, the right chair at lunch, or the right friendship and relationship. The beginning of a new year marks new opportunities, and they can either choose good options, or they can choose bad, and I so badly want them to choose good. 

I know Lauren will choose cheese pizza over the deli sandwich every day. I know Abby will choose chicken burgers over pizza, and I know she'll collect quarters at home for the vending machine. I know Lauren will giggle and tease to make friends; and I know Abby will be more reserved, waiting to be approached. I know they'll try on eye shadow and lip gloss on the bus, and wash it off before they come home. I know they'll be tempted to repeat bad words in order to fit in, I know they'll be tempted in a lot of things...

But beyond that, what worry aches my heart the most tonight, is, have I taught them enough, and shown them enough, that they'll be able to make the right choices on their own? When it comes to the tough stuff, will they make good decisions, will they stand for what is right? 

I want our girls to be the ones who offer friendship to the kid left out. I want them to be the ones who offer love when someone is sad. I want our girls to be sources of happiness and joy. And I want them to be rocks for their classmates whose worlds are so uneasy. I know our girls won't be perfect, but I want them to be kind and gentle, strong and confident, controlled and purposeful, determined to do their best, and work hard. 

Of course, I know there will be bumps in the road. I know there will be days when they run through the  front door crying because they were made fun of. I know there will drama, and failed tests, and bad haircuts. It's all just part of being a teenager, after all. 

I was in their shoes once, so I know all of these things all too well. I know how hard middle school can be, which is why I pray for them so fervently. I want them to come to love school the way I did, I want them to have a good experience, and I want them to grow up into beautiful ladies who reflect their creator God in whichever path they decide to take. 

I take a deep breath, and ask God for peace. I've done everything I know to do in order to prepare them for this. I haven't been a perfect parent, but I've done my best. The rest is up to God. I know He is going with them into the school, walking beside them all day long, holding their hands when they're scared, and protecting them. He will watch over them and help them wade through this new year. 

I can rest tonight knowing that tomorrow marks a new beginning, and my girls are ready. 

I can't wait to see what they do. 

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To Every Thing There is a Season

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak…" Ecclesiastes 3:1-7 

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This blog has been silent for a year, but I've decided it's time I started writing again…

I had been silent on purpose, because I realized through my last posts that my heart was in mourning. I had grown bitter due to circumstances outside of my control, and I didn't want my anger and grief spoiling my writing, not only hurting myself, but also my audience. 

Sometimes it's better to be quiet. 

Sometimes it's better to let God do the healing in private, than through a very public blog such as this. 

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So this last year, I've been healing. I've been letting God soften my heart again, and I've been reconnecting. 

Andrew resigned his position as Senior Pastor, and we left our old church, and made ourselves at home in a new church family, serving as the Youth Director (& wife). We've poured into relationships there, let love welcome us, let laughter heal us, and let children spark our love for ministry again.

We had been so hurt, and so broken, but God restored us. He is always faithful! 

We have let this year wash over us, cleansing us, and energizing us for what's ahead. And what's ahead? Only God knows at this point. But with certainty I can say that we'll be ready. 

I know that because I know Who God is. 

I know that in every circumstance He is good. I know that in every season of life, He is present. I know that He is in the business of redemption, forgiveness, and healing. I know that He hears me when I pray, and I know that He answers my prayers. I know He is active, moving, and alive. I know He has a plan for us, and I know that He is fervently working it out for our benefit. I know that He cares for us, and will give us the wisdom we need when we need it. I know that even though pain may come again, He will give us strength for each new day. I know my God is in control, and He won't let us fall. And when I know that, deep into my heart, there's nothing left to fear, and no more room for doubt. 

I may not know what lies ahead, but I know Who my God is, and that makes it OK. 

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So here's to new seasons. Here's to letting God move, and having the faith to step forward. Here's to courage in those dark days when we wait for His leading, and here's to love, which covers it all. 

He makes everything beautiful in it's time, and every time- beautiful. 

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We Aren't Called to be Robots

There have been times in my life, growing up in a Pastor's home, when I felt the outside pressures of people's opinion. We were told what was expected of us: A perfect pastor, a perfect pastor's wife, and perfect pastor's children. Perfect pastor's make everyone happy, they don't get emotional, they don't get upset, they don't cry. Perfect pastor's wives always smile, serve in every children's program, attend every meeting, and are meek and quiet. Perfect pastor's children dress properly, don't fidget in the pew, and get good grades in school. They are a perfect little family, perfect little robots that the congregation controls.

Unfortunately, this is a world-wide problem, not isolated just to my little town growing up. This is a church problem, an attitude problem, that, sad to say, many congregations still believe. But I want to say something, and I want to stand up and say in the defense of my family, and myself, that God did not call us to be robots.

God does not require us to be perfect little people, He requires us to be obedient, and for each of us, that looks different. We are all created in His image, for His unique purposes and plans. And because of that, we are all different, called to be different parts of The Body, and called to do different things. We all have different personalities, different backgrounds, different strengths, and different struggles. We each have different visions, and different dreams, and we look different than those who have come before us. We are all different, but we are all still people. We are not robots.

And we answer to God, not to man. We are called to be obedient to our God in Heaven, and to His Word, and to His plan. We are not called to fit into perfect molds, or to be perfect people, and we are not called to be robots, controlled by a congregation.

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Living in ministry, submitting your life to the service of others and the furthering of the gospel can be a very lonely, discouraging place. Most of the time, you are alone in your vision, alone in the fight, and alone in the spiritual battle. There may be a few people in the congregation who say they support you, but often, pews are left empty, jobs are left undone, and once more, the pressure falls to the pastor and his family to do it all. Some congregations rely on their pastor's to do all the work, content to show up on Sunday morning and get their fix, but neglect the church the rest of the week. This leaves the pastor on his own most days, seeing to the communities needs, and very rarely receiving any support or encouragement from his church family. Those days are hard, and take their toll not only on the pastor, but also on the pastor's family. Pastor's are people, they are not robots.

In any other "job" a person could go to their supervisor when they're being attacked verbally. That sort of thing is, after all, abuse. But pastor's don't have that freedom. Pastor's take verbal abuse all the time, and are told to grow thicker skin and not take things personally. In any other job, a person would get vacation time, a salary for the hours they put in, and benefits. But not for a pastor. Most pastor's get criticized for taking a vacation once a year, work full time jobs for part time pay, and receive no benefits and no retirement package. There is no overtime, there is no 401K, and there are no raises. On the contrary, usually the pastor's salary is the first to get cut at budget meetings. And it's true that the pastorate is a calling and ministry, but it's also a job, it also pays the bills and keeps a roof over the pastor's family, and despite what others may think, pastor's families still have expenses like everyone else. We are, in fact, real people. We are not robots.

And though we've answered our calling, and have entered into ministry and all that is expected of us, we are still people. We get hurt. We get sick. We have burdens, and we have joys. We have other responsibilities, we have other jobs, we have children and families, and friends that do not attend our church. We have lives. We are people. We are not robots.

So the next time you see your pastor tired, or discouraged, or even sad, keep these things in mind. Remember that he is just a person, and that he's doing the very best he can. Offer to pray with him, take him out for coffee, show up and ask him how you can help. The next time you see your pastor's wife stressed, running after her children, or trying to walk the fine line of expectations, offer her a smile, and more importantly, support her husband. She is, after all, his first, and he is her first priority, and when he hurts, she hurts.

Ministry is amazing, it is a privilege, it can hold the most joyous and exciting times. But it's also a huge responsibility, and burden to carry. It is unique, and it is individual. Just as individual as every man that enters into it.

We are called to be God's people, we are not called to be robots.

I say this in defense of every pastor, and every pastor's family, because I know we are not unique. I have been submersed in the inner workings of the church since I was a young child, and I know what I'm talking about. I've known a lot of pastors, a lot of missionaries, and I've seen the crushing effects that ministry can have. I've seen burnt out, I've seen broken, I've seen heartache. I know it first hand, and more than anything, I would like for it to stop.

God gives us strength to keep going. He gives us glimpses of spiritual breakthrough, He supplies our needs out of no where. He takes care of us, and encourages us to keep fighting. Our God is good, and that is why we do what we do. We love The LORD, and we long to serve Him with our lives, and we do the best we can. But God knows our hearts, He knows we are just people, and I'm so thankful He never called us to be robots.

Our Fortress

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, 

The God we serve is able to save us from it, 

and He will rescue us from your hand, O king."

- Daniel 3:17

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I've long understood that following the political and world news would bring nothing but frustration and heartache, but being involved in our culture is a necessity, and burying our heads in the sand is just not a smart option. 

There's a lot going on in the Middle East right now, a lot going on in our world. A lot of war, murder, torture, hunger, disease, slavery, trafficking, turning from God, destruction and sadness. There are rumors of terrorists reaching American soil, attacks on our nation, and threats of more killings. There is a lot of pain, and no one in the media is able to offer any hope. 

It's easy to get discouraged, it's easy to be afraid. What if we do have another attack like 9/11? What if ISIS does reach America? What if we are killed for our faith in Jesus? What if our world is shaken and torn apart? How will we protect our children? These are questions that can keep us up at night, questions we struggle to answer and come to peace with. And just this morning, after reading the news, my own heart was heavy: "What if, God?"... "Will You allow this here?" 

And the answer my heart keeps hearing is: "Yes", heartache will reach my door. None of us can escape pain or fear, but as Christians, we are different from the lost world, because we know Who is in control, and we know that God Himself is our Hope and security, even in the most terrible times. 

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This verse in Daniel comes from the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, when they refused to bow down to the golden idol that King Nebuchadnezzar had ordered them to worship. The three men knew that the penalty would be death, but bowing down was not an option for them. I'm sure there were moments they were afraid, I'm sure they questioned God, they were after all, just people like you and I. 

These three men were not super heroes, they didn't have any special powers, and they certainly couldn't stop the king from putting them to death. But they did have one important difference, they had their faith in God Almighty. And when it came time for them to enter the blazing furnace, they declared: "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, The God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king!" Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were just normal men, but their faith in God was sound, and they knew that God would save them, no matter what the king chose to do to them. 

And God did save them. He surrounded them with His angels, and He didn't allow even their clothes to be scorched. God delivered them for sure, and preserved them because of their faith. 

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Brothers and sisters, the reason I felt it was important for me to share this story today, is because we are promised to face pain and hardship in this world. We know that the world is fallen, and we are in uncertain times, but our hope is not in this world, or the powers that be, our hope is in God, and our hope is secure. 

The God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is the same God who watches over us today, and if He could save those 3 men thousands of years ago, our Good God Who DOES NOT CHANGE, is able to save us too. And no matter what the media says, and no matter what wars storm our walls, The Almighty God is our fortress, and He is our protector. 

We need to take comfort in that today. We need to shut out the voices of the world, and rest in the peace that God is in control, and that He will take care of us, whatever may come.