Practice Hospitality

"Entertaining seeks to impress. 

Hospitality seeks to bless."

-Jen Wilkin

Proverbs 31 Ministries

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I read this quote yesterday, and was literally stopped in my tracks. 

Sometimes conviction just hits like that. 

I've struggled with OCD tendencies for as long as I can remember. Needing my days planned out, needing my home tidy and clean, stressing over details, and fighting back anxieties, worries, and obsessive thoughts. Mix this with a love for all things creative, decorating included, and somehow my home became a treasure. I love making it warm and inviting. I love decorating for each holiday, and filling our walls with portraits of my loved ones. I like do-dads, and doilies, too many candles, and potpourri.  I like all of these things to be in their place, and never touched, just left alone to look pretty. You can only imagine the stress this has placed on my husband and children.

But I also love opening our home to family and friends, welcoming them in for hours to eat, sit & talk, play games, and grow in our relationships. I strongly believe in the need to be vulnerable and welcoming, but sometimes my anxieties get in the way. I live in constant conflict: part of me wanting to be present and vulnerable, and the other part wanting desperately to get up and just clean the kitchen quick, or fix that picture that is askew. 

And though this OCD I struggle with is an actual medical condition, I realize there is also this place in my heart that enjoys things looking nice and impressing others. There's still that sin nature in me that wants to seek approval from man, and prove my worth to others. As I read this quote, I came face to face with that ugly place in my heart, realizing that my motivations need to change. 

My focus needs to be on blessing others, above all else. And though it may not be natural for me to sit back and let life unfold, I need to learn how to do it. I desperately desire for others to feel comfortable around me, welcome in my home, and at ease. I never want to give off the impression that they are disrupting my flow, messy-ing my home, or that the dirty dinner dishes are more important to me than listening to what's on their heart. I truly want to be able to bless others with a good meal, friendly conversation, and spiritual depth.  And because I long for these things, I know with God's help, I can change. 

Scripture tells us that hospitality takes practice:

"Share with the Lord’s people who are in need.  

Always be eager to practice hospitality." 

- Romans 12:12-13

Isn't that interesting? It seems God knows what maybe we all need a little grace in this area, maybe we all need a little practice. Being generous and open with our hearts takes time, it takes trust even, but as Christians, we need to learn how to offer hospitality everywhere we go, to everyone we meet. 

This is something God calls us all to do, so we know it's important to God's heart as well. Practicing hospitality allows for walls to drop, for hearts to open, and for true fellowship to happen. Practicing hospitality allows us to deepen our relationships, bless others, encourage others, and strengthen brotherly love. Practicing hospitality builds up the church body, and makes us stronger as a whole, making it easier for us to depend on one another. 

Blessing others first needs to be our focus, and when it is, I believe that hospitality will begin to flow out of us, from a place of sincere love for each other and desire to draw closer to The LORD. 

Now, who wants to come to dinner? 

All Things New

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.  

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.' 

He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!' Then He said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'" 

- Revelation 21:3-5

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I woke up to a fresh layer of snow blanketing the ground this morning, and at that early hour, the streetlights left everything around in a hazy glow. Though the sun was still asleep, the crisp freshness awakened my heart, and I felt a bit of hope. Today would be a good day. 

Sometimes my heart gets heavy with the weight of pain in our world. I've always carried around an empathetic heart, and at times that can be very consuming and exhausting. There's just so much pain everywhere I look, and I feel that pain deep down into my heart, and sometimes even my physical self shares the heaviness that my heart feels. 

As I stood looking out at the snow, I was reminded of fresh beginnings, and ultimately, how one day, my God will make everything new. He will take away every pain, and we will be washed clean, forgetting all that has happened, and embracing paradise with our King. 

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My Dad loves Revelation, so naturally it became a book near to my heart as well. Though I'm no prophet, and I certainly don't have full understanding of all that Revelation reveals, this one passage I know deep down into my soul with so much certainty, and so much hope. 

I have always loved the imagery of this passage, and the picture of God coming down and dwelling with man. And not only dwelling, but owning us, accepting us, and calling us His own. He will be our God, and we will be His people. Is there anything more comforting than that? Knowing that our Father God is so tender towards His own, that He calls us, and  loves us, and takes us as His. We will no longer be alone, foreigners in the land, because God will be here, and everything will be right. 

The image of God Himself bending to wipe my tears, brings more to my eyes, thinking about the promise of complete healing and complete peace. There will be no more pain, no more crying, no more death. No more separation from those we love, no more sickness, no more questions, no more searching, no more confusion, no more disappointment, no more heartache, no more hunger, no more disease, no more…no more! God Himself will come to us, He will say enough is enough, and He will make everything new! 

Our God speaks with such authority, 'He Who is seated on the throne!' We don't need to question, we don't need to doubt, God Himself has declared these words to be 'Trustworthy and true', He will come, and He will save us! The day is coming, and I wait in such anticipation! 

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I needed this word of hope today, and maybe you did too. That's just how our God works. He knows His children so intimately, He knows what our hearts need, and He uses scripture to encourage us, to fill us back up, and give us strength to keep fighting the good fight. This world is full of pain everywhere we look, but pain has not won, our God has. And in His perfect time, He will come for us, and make every wrong right, and heal every scar.

We serve an awesome God, who loves us so very much! Take hope in Him today, let your heart be encouraged. 

The Thief of Joy

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

- Matthew 6:21

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We're at the start of a new year, and like to many, I've been thinking about what I want to strive for in this next year of my life, what things I want to change, and who I want to be. I've been dreaming of a simpler life, one that is uncluttered by social media, technology, too many commitments, and 'keeping up with the Joneses.' I want to be more present, more aware, and more sensitive to the blessings God's given me. 

One of the biggest things I've been struggling with is social media. Because I'm a wedding photographer by trade, I follow many photographers from all over the world. When I first started following these people, it was because I admired their work, I admired their place in the photography world, and I thought that following them would not only teach me things I wanted to learn, but also leave me feeling inspired. But somewhere over time, my feelings of inspiration turned into feelings of jealousy. These people live such glamourous lives! Traveling all over the world, being paid to take beautiful images of beautiful people. How is this even real life? It certainly isn't my life, and never will be. ...I live out in the country surrounded by Amish. I live in a 200 year old Greek revival home with my husband, 3 daughters (+ 1 baby on the way), 3 cats, 8 chickens, and 4 goats. My life is not all glamour and glitz, but it is beautiful.

I was following instagram accounts filled with scenes from the California coast, Ireland, Switzerland, and the tropics. While my instagram account reflects a life filled with toddler coloring book sessions, backyard play dates, selfies with no makeup, Old Navy wardrobes, and home cooked meals. 

Somewhere along the way, my beautiful life seemed dull in comparison, and the grass on the other side began to look greener. That's what happens when we take our eyes off of God's blessings for us, and focus on what others are doing. That's what happens when we allow jealousy and ugliness to creep into our hearts and steal our joy. 

My life is beautiful, and I do love where God has me. Would I love to go on one of those million dollar photo shoots? Of course! But it's just not going to happen. My life has a different purpose, and that's OK. It's OK that I'll never make 6 figures shooting weddings, the few that I do each year allow me personal relationships with all of my clients, and most importantly, allow me an income while ensuring that I'm still home with my family. That's what's most important to me. God has made me a wife and mom, and that's my number one priority. Why would I dream of having someone else's life, when this life I'm in is so precious? How ashamed I am of my feelings of jealousy, when my days are filled with the most beautiful people I know. And my little instagram photos reflect a life of love, laughter, joy, and  family togetherness- how could that not be enough? Surely those are the things that make life worth living, not glamour and fame. 

The important thing here is, I needed to decide to step back, to stop comparing, and to live joyfully in the life God has given me. Comparison is the thief of our joy, and like today's verse reminds us: where our focus is, there our hearts will be. 

I want my focus to be on Jesus, and loving my family well. I want my heart to be fully present, and fully aware of what I'm supposed to do for my family and for God. So in order to do that, I need to surround myself with things of God, and take away the distractions. 

For me that's meant cutting down on social media, and restricting the time spent there. That's meant more personal time with Jesus, committed blog writing, and devotion time with Andrew. I want to keep my focus on Jesus first, knowing that He is the one filling my heart up, and allowing me to live in peace and contentment. 

I don't need to be anyone else, or have someone else's life, I am exactly where God wants me to be, and that's the most beautiful place of all. 

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Trusting God Through the Pain

The girls' Mom has been gone for 4 years now, and as I've thought about the anniversary coming & now passing, I'm always filled with so many emotions. There are so many parts to our story that hurt my heart, and there's nothing that I'll ever be able to do to remove that pain. My Husband has lost a wife, there are places in his heart that will always feel that loss, and there's nothing I can do. My children have lost a parent, have had prayers answered in a way they didn't like, their faith has been rocked, there's a hole in their heart, and again, there's nothing I'll ever be able to do to fill it. I tell Andrew all the time that I wish I would have known when Kelly was dying, I would have come to him, helped him, loved him…but of course, that wasn't possible, he was married to another women then. It wasn't my place, and even now, it's not my place. That's a part of my families life that I'll never be able to touch, though my love may soothe the ache.

I've tried to wrap my mind around God's will, and to be honest, I still don't understand it, and I'm not sure I ever will. Why would God choose to take home a 33 year old women who was happily married with two little girls to love and care for? Why would God take her, and leave me? I was single, unattached, so why not me instead? There are times I feel such enormous guilt and pressure for being the one standing in her place. Sometimes I look at the girls, and all I can say is: "I'm sorry it's me here, and not your Mom. I don't know why God did it, and I know you feel cheated. I'm sorry I'm not her, I'm sorry your heart hurts." Because even though I do believe that I'm able to do some good in their life, and I do believe I can love them and care for them, at the end of the day, I can't be Kelly for them, I can't be her.

As a wife and Mom, I want to be the one to heal my family. I want to be the one to hold them, love them, and be the one they not only want, but the one they need. But in this case, I can't fix the hurt. I've had to learn that God's will is outside of my human understanding, and that pains like this can only be healed with God's grace. I've had to learn to pray for my husband and children, and the broken places in their hearts, knowing that God is The only One who can save them from the pit.

I don't understand in so many ways why I'm here and Kelly's not, but maybe it's because I needed to learn these things. Maybe God knew I needed to learn selfless love, love that doesn't need to be returned, love that doesn't require anything, love that steps in and says: "I'll take care of you in her place, I'll hold you while you miss someone else…" Maybe God knew that my heart needed to grow and expand, be broken, and rebuilt into a better version…one that would reflect His own in a better way. I certainly haven't learned selfless love in it's entirety, but I'm learning more every day.

This is the story that God has given my family, and it's not our place to question, all we can do is move forward. God has His reasons, and I'm convinced that sometimes- there's no reason beyond the fact that we live in a fallen world. Sin happened, and now we die. Some people live beyond cancer, and some people don't. Some prayers are answered with "yes", and some are answered with "no", and some answers will never be heard until we reach Heaven and have full understanding. God's will is not always for us to understand, but we do have to accept it, and we do have to find a way to learn from it and do the best with what we have.

My husband and children will always carry a piece of grief in their hearts. There will always be a part of them that longs to be with Kelly again, but I'm thankful to God that by His grace, they've also learned to walk in joy. Happy days outweigh the sad ones, and good memories outweigh the bad ones. God has healed them enough so that they've learned to keep going, keep living, and even allow another love in.

And that's where I fit into the story. I'm here because God healed my husband enough to let him love again, and he chose me. The girls may not have chosen me, but over the years they have learned to love me in their own way, and accept a new family, new siblings, and a new way of doing life.

I praise God today, through the tears, that even though pain comes in this life, happiness comes too. God doesn't leave us in our grief, questioning forever. He heals us, reveals truths to us, and gives us strength to keep going. He's done that for my family, and He promises to do it for you too. Whatever path you're on, whatever God's brought you to, you can trust that He'll get you through it. We're living proof that He will.

Thoughts on Intercessory Prayer

"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against The LORD 

by failing to pray for you."

 -1 Samuel 12:23a

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I was caught off guard this morning by this verse in 1 Samuel. Have you ever thought about our failing to pray for our brothers & sisters as a sin against God? At first I thought that was a bit extreme. Because surely in my heart God knows that I intend to pray for others, but life gets busy, and our minds forget those around us who are in need. We serve a God of mercy, after all, so how could this tiny oversight be a sin? 

Well, that's simply it. To God, this failing is not a tiny oversight. 

God has gifted us the ability to intercede for others, to carry others to the throne of God and lift them up, to ask requests on their behalf, and to ask God's will to be done for those people. Jesus, Himself, has promised to be our intercessor, bridging the gap to our Father God; and also The Holy Spirit has been left with us to act an an intercessor when we don't know the words to pray. We have been equipped in every way to access the throne of God, and it's so important for us to use that gift. 

And after thinking about it, aren't we also sinning against our brothers and sisters, when we know their need, and don't stop and take the time to pray? Aren't we failing them as well? Those who need us to intercede for them in their weakness, but we simply can't be bothered in our busy lives? 

Certainly we are. 

As the family of God, we need each other. We need to support each other, and take care of one another. And the greatest way to do that, is to lift one another in prayer. Prayer is our strongest tool as a Christian, because God is The One who promises to hear us and answer. Calling on our Father God is the best thing we can do for each other. 

Intercessory prayer also benefits the church body in many ways:
- Brings unity, comfort, strength, and encouragement
- Allows for faith building, community edification and community repentance 
- Glorifies God

Those are all things we want, right? Then we better make intercessory prayer part of our daily routine. 

Maybe you're wondering what you need to do to pray on another's behalf, and the answer is easy:

- Confess your sins and make your heart right with God
- Ask God to reveal people's needs to you
- Pray for God's will to be done in those needs
- Praise God for His answers
- Leave the prayer at God's throne, knowing He has heard you & will answer
- Let the person know you are praying, giving encouragement
- Keep a prayer journal to track answered prayers, increasing your faith

Lastly, it's important to understand that EVERY child of God can and should pray on another's behalf. God has given ALL of us the ability to pray, and does not require that we be pastors, elders, teachers, or perfect saints. Your prayers are important to God, and He hears you every time you call on His name! 


How can I pray for you?