"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
- Matthew 6:21
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We're at the start of a new year, and like to many, I've been thinking about what I want to strive for in this next year of my life, what things I want to change, and who I want to be. I've been dreaming of a simpler life, one that is uncluttered by social media, technology, too many commitments, and 'keeping up with the Joneses.' I want to be more present, more aware, and more sensitive to the blessings God's given me.
One of the biggest things I've been struggling with is social media. Because I'm a wedding photographer by trade, I follow many photographers from all over the world. When I first started following these people, it was because I admired their work, I admired their place in the photography world, and I thought that following them would not only teach me things I wanted to learn, but also leave me feeling inspired. But somewhere over time, my feelings of inspiration turned into feelings of jealousy. These people live such glamourous lives! Traveling all over the world, being paid to take beautiful images of beautiful people. How is this even real life? It certainly isn't my life, and never will be. ...I live out in the country surrounded by Amish. I live in a 200 year old Greek revival home with my husband, 3 daughters (+ 1 baby on the way), 3 cats, 8 chickens, and 4 goats. My life is not all glamour and glitz, but it is beautiful.
I was following instagram accounts filled with scenes from the California coast, Ireland, Switzerland, and the tropics. While my instagram account reflects a life filled with toddler coloring book sessions, backyard play dates, selfies with no makeup, Old Navy wardrobes, and home cooked meals.
Somewhere along the way, my beautiful life seemed dull in comparison, and the grass on the other side began to look greener. That's what happens when we take our eyes off of God's blessings for us, and focus on what others are doing. That's what happens when we allow jealousy and ugliness to creep into our hearts and steal our joy.
My life is beautiful, and I do love where God has me. Would I love to go on one of those million dollar photo shoots? Of course! But it's just not going to happen. My life has a different purpose, and that's OK. It's OK that I'll never make 6 figures shooting weddings, the few that I do each year allow me personal relationships with all of my clients, and most importantly, allow me an income while ensuring that I'm still home with my family. That's what's most important to me. God has made me a wife and mom, and that's my number one priority. Why would I dream of having someone else's life, when this life I'm in is so precious? How ashamed I am of my feelings of jealousy, when my days are filled with the most beautiful people I know. And my little instagram photos reflect a life of love, laughter, joy, and family togetherness- how could that not be enough? Surely those are the things that make life worth living, not glamour and fame.
The important thing here is, I needed to decide to step back, to stop comparing, and to live joyfully in the life God has given me. Comparison is the thief of our joy, and like today's verse reminds us: where our focus is, there our hearts will be.
I want my focus to be on Jesus, and loving my family well. I want my heart to be fully present, and fully aware of what I'm supposed to do for my family and for God. So in order to do that, I need to surround myself with things of God, and take away the distractions.
For me that's meant cutting down on social media, and restricting the time spent there. That's meant more personal time with Jesus, committed blog writing, and devotion time with Andrew. I want to keep my focus on Jesus first, knowing that He is the one filling my heart up, and allowing me to live in peace and contentment.
I don't need to be anyone else, or have someone else's life, I am exactly where God wants me to be, and that's the most beautiful place of all.
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Great!
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