There have been times in my life, growing up in a Pastor's home, when I felt the outside pressures of people's opinion. We were told what was expected of us: A perfect pastor, a perfect pastor's wife, and perfect pastor's children. Perfect pastor's make everyone happy, they don't get emotional, they don't get upset, they don't cry. Perfect pastor's wives always smile, serve in every children's program, attend every meeting, and are meek and quiet. Perfect pastor's children dress properly, don't fidget in the pew, and get good grades in school. They are a perfect little family, perfect little robots that the congregation controls.
Unfortunately, this is a world-wide problem, not isolated just to my little town growing up. This is a church problem, an attitude problem, that, sad to say, many congregations still believe. But I want to say something, and I want to stand up and say in the defense of my family, and myself, that God did not call us to be robots.
God does not require us to be perfect little people, He requires us to be obedient, and for each of us, that looks different. We are all created in His image, for His unique purposes and plans. And because of that, we are all different, called to be different parts of The Body, and called to do different things. We all have different personalities, different backgrounds, different strengths, and different struggles. We each have different visions, and different dreams, and we look different than those who have come before us. We are all different, but we are all still people. We are not robots.
And we answer to God, not to man. We are called to be obedient to our God in Heaven, and to His Word, and to His plan. We are not called to fit into perfect molds, or to be perfect people, and we are not called to be robots, controlled by a congregation.
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Living in ministry, submitting your life to the service of others and the furthering of the gospel can be a very lonely, discouraging place. Most of the time, you are alone in your vision, alone in the fight, and alone in the spiritual battle. There may be a few people in the congregation who say they support you, but often, pews are left empty, jobs are left undone, and once more, the pressure falls to the pastor and his family to do it all. Some congregations rely on their pastor's to do all the work, content to show up on Sunday morning and get their fix, but neglect the church the rest of the week. This leaves the pastor on his own most days, seeing to the communities needs, and very rarely receiving any support or encouragement from his church family. Those days are hard, and take their toll not only on the pastor, but also on the pastor's family. Pastor's are people, they are not robots.
In any other "job" a person could go to their supervisor when they're being attacked verbally. That sort of thing is, after all, abuse. But pastor's don't have that freedom. Pastor's take verbal abuse all the time, and are told to grow thicker skin and not take things personally. In any other job, a person would get vacation time, a salary for the hours they put in, and benefits. But not for a pastor. Most pastor's get criticized for taking a vacation once a year, work full time jobs for part time pay, and receive no benefits and no retirement package. There is no overtime, there is no 401K, and there are no raises. On the contrary, usually the pastor's salary is the first to get cut at budget meetings. And it's true that the pastorate is a calling and ministry, but it's also a job, it also pays the bills and keeps a roof over the pastor's family, and despite what others may think, pastor's families still have expenses like everyone else. We are, in fact, real people. We are not robots.
And though we've answered our calling, and have entered into ministry and all that is expected of us, we are still people. We get hurt. We get sick. We have burdens, and we have joys. We have other responsibilities, we have other jobs, we have children and families, and friends that do not attend our church. We have lives. We are people. We are not robots.
So the next time you see your pastor tired, or discouraged, or even sad, keep these things in mind. Remember that he is just a person, and that he's doing the very best he can. Offer to pray with him, take him out for coffee, show up and ask him how you can help. The next time you see your pastor's wife stressed, running after her children, or trying to walk the fine line of expectations, offer her a smile, and more importantly, support her husband. She is, after all, his first, and he is her first priority, and when he hurts, she hurts.
Ministry is amazing, it is a privilege, it can hold the most joyous and exciting times. But it's also a huge responsibility, and burden to carry. It is unique, and it is individual. Just as individual as every man that enters into it.
We are called to be God's people, we are not called to be robots.
I say this in defense of every pastor, and every pastor's family, because I know we are not unique. I have been submersed in the inner workings of the church since I was a young child, and I know what I'm talking about. I've known a lot of pastors, a lot of missionaries, and I've seen the crushing effects that ministry can have. I've seen burnt out, I've seen broken, I've seen heartache. I know it first hand, and more than anything, I would like for it to stop.
God gives us strength to keep going. He gives us glimpses of spiritual breakthrough, He supplies our needs out of no where. He takes care of us, and encourages us to keep fighting. Our God is good, and that is why we do what we do. We love The LORD, and we long to serve Him with our lives, and we do the best we can. But God knows our hearts, He knows we are just people, and I'm so thankful He never called us to be robots.
