I Remembered My Good God

"And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, 'This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.' 

In the same way, after the supper He took the cup, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.'" 

- Luke 22:19 & 20

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I sat there in the back pew, my sweet baby girl sleeping peacefully in my arms, with tears streaming down my face. My oldest daughters looked over at me concerned, but I had no words to tell them I was alright. In that moment, all I needed was my Father whispering to my heart, telling me that He forgave me, telling me that He would bring justice one day, and that His death had already given me victory. 

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This last year, I've suffered a betrayal and pain that has worn heavy on my heart for months. There have been times when anger and pain have mixed freely in my heart, turning into bitterness, allowing me to loose sight of the joy I have in Christ, and in the beautiful life He has given me. This betrayal cut deep, and because of the scars it left, I've suffered with an unforgiving heart. 

I say suffer, because all the while, I have known better. I knew in my heart what God required of me, I knew the scriptures telling me to forgive, but I confess that this forgiveness has not come easily. I have battled with myself over this for months, torn between The Word of God, and my own broken heart. That battle is hard, when you know what you need to do, but have such a hard time doing it... 

"The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" - Matthew 26:41

I knew what God required of me, and I found myself broken often, knowing that I was failing Him. My Jesus, who has given His life for me, and requires so little…yet, I couldn't do it. I couldn't forgive, I couldn't forget. 

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Today, in that back pew I was hit hard by The Holy Spirit, poking and prodding me to do in my heart what I knew I needed to do. Forgive, forgive, forgive…

I sat there completely aware and overcome with the knowledge that I was remembering my Savior's sacrifice for me, and how He had forgiven me and everything I've ever done and ever will do. And that's when the tears started to fall. 

When I came face to face with my Holy and Good God, with His crucifixion and death, and with His grace, when I remembered…

This is our God, The God Who forgave us of our sins, and died in our place…

The God Who gave up His life…

For me. 

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If He could do that for me, wouldn't He also help me extend that same grace and forgiveness to those in my own life? 

I sat there, heart exposed, and told God He needed to help me, because there was no way I could do it myself. 

And once I had prayed that prayer, I took the cube of bread, and I drank the juice, and I swallowed down the knowledge that my God had suffered and died, for me. I swallowed down the truth that God sacrificed His life, so that I could live. I swallowed down the grace that He had shown me, and the forgiveness that I knew was mine. And I swallowed down His peace, knowing that healing had begun in my heart. 

I ate of the bread, and I drank of the wine, and I remembered my good God. 

The God Who is Present

I've talked a lot about the different attributes of God, and how they help us understand Who He is more, revealing more of His character, and what that means for us as Christians. Tonight, I am thinking about God's presence in our lives, and the assurance that He never leaves us.

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When The Angel of The LORD appeared to Joseph, and told him Mary would give birth to a son, the angel said His name would be Jesus, or Immanuel, which translated: "God with us." (Matthew 1:23) This was the Hebrew understanding of God coming to earth in human form, and dwelling among men. Jesus was "God with us."

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Jesus no longer dwells among us here on earth, but we do have the promise of Him coming again. In Revelation 21 & 22, when talking about the new Jereusalem, and Christ's return, we are shown a new name of God: El Shammah, which translates: "The God Who is there." God is given this name here, because it is understood that in the New Jerusalem, God will reign among His people, and we will be in His presence forever.

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So we have proof of Christ being God among us, and we have the promise that God will return for us one day and we will be in His presence forever, but what about right now? Where is our hope and security now?

The Bible tells us: "For The LORD your God goes with you, He will never leave you, nor forsake you." -Deuteronomy 31:6 This is a continual promise for us, through the ages, that never goes away.

God is with us.

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God being present with us, everywhere we go, and in everything we do, is called Omipresent. This attribute of God means that He is: "Present at all times." And this is where our hope lies now, this is the assurance given to us while we wait for Christ to return for His church. Though He has left our physical presence, He has left His Spirit with us always, and we are never alone.

Often times I've thought to myself: 'I wish I could have lived in Bible times, and had the chance to be with Jesus. I'd live my life different if He was right next to me, I'd understand things more, and things would be easier.' I don't think I'm alone in this thought.

But you know what? When Jesus was walking around this earth, He could only be in one place at one time, meaning that, even though He was here with us, He couldn't be with all of us, all at once. He could only physically be with a few people at a single time, which meant that many people missed out.

But the great thing about living in the time that we do, is that Christ has returned to Heaven, and He has left with us His Spirit, which is Omnipresent, present at all times. And we know that once we are saved, The Holy Spirit dwells inside of us, which means that for every Christian walking this earth, God is with us, wherever we go.

Doesn't that make you feel less jipped on not living in Bible times?

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All kidding aside, this attribute for God is huge for us, as Christians. Our daily security hangs on the promise that we are never alone. This trait of God further proves His love for us, in that He chooses to give us His Spirit, and chooses to never leave our side. He chooses to be with us, protecting us, caring for us, providing for us, loving us, every single minute of every singe day, wherever we go.

Isn't that an amazing promise?

This is our God, our God Who is present at all times. 

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How will you let this truth change your life tonight? Will it help you lie down in peace, knowing that The God Who is present is with you while you sleep? Will it help you live in freedom, knowing that The God Who is present goes before you, preparing your way? Will it help you live in faith, knowing that whatever comes, The God Who is present will be with you, and helping you through it?

It should.

This is why God promises to be with us, to give us these things, to make our life in Him richer.

Our God is The God Who is present, let that sink into your heart tonight, and let it bring you comfort.

Knowing

In the morning, LORD, You hear my voice; 

in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly.

 - Psalm 5:3

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I don't have an exact date written down when I became a Christian. I don't have a heart-tugging conversion story, or memory of deciding I wanted to change my life by giving it to Christ.

I've been with Jesus for as long as I can remember.  His presences has always been. I don't know another way to explain it. 

In my 25ish years of learning and growing in my faith, being with Jesus has become more and more important to me. As my spiritual maturity has grown, I've realized my dependency on Him more, and my desire for conversation with my God has grown from prayer time at meals and bedtime, to a deep desire for true communication throughout my day. 

When I talk to God, I tell Him everything, even the things He knows. I lay my heart out at His feet, unloading all of my pain and agony, all of my fears and needs. But the great thing about praying to God, as opposed to telling a best friend my problems, is that I know my God has a solution. I know He is already working to solve each problem, and once I've told Him everything, I'm able to wait for His reply. 

I can do this, because over these years of growing up in Christ, spending time with my Jesus, I have learned Who He is, and my faith comes back to this truth time and time again. I know Who my Jesus is, because He has proved Himself to me, He has been faithful, He has been constant. He has never let me down.

The Christian life is a journey, and we are always growing and learning more about God, and who He is to us. 

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As I'm growing now, in this season of my life, I've been learning expectant prayer. I've always believed that God hears me and works things out for me, but it was in recent years that I began praying knowing that God would work. I may not have known when or how, but there was a feeling down in my heart telling me to pray knowing, expecting. 

You may be wondering why this is so important, and I have a thought on that:

God wants our trust. 

If we tell God we love Him, that we believe in Him, and we give our lives to Him, is this demonstrated when we pray, and don't wait for God to work? Are we showing our love for Him when we pray, and don't have assurance that He'll act? 

God wants to know that we trust Him with our lives, with the things that are so important to us. I think this reveals our true heart towards God, demonstrating how much we believe the words He has spoken, and the sacrifice He made. 

Trusting God, and growing in our faith takes time, a lifetime to be exact. But in order to grow closer to God, and deepen our relationship with Him, we must begin with trust. We must understand this key element, knowing that God is The only One we can put our trust in. 

It's in giving God our trust, laying our burdens on Him, and knowing He will act that His love for us is able to be proved. It's when we lay it all down, that He is able to show us His faithfulness by answering our prayers, and working in our lives. 

 

The Lesson My 11 Year Old Taught Me

"But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. 

If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also." 

- Matthew 5:39

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I know I've written a lot about our oldest girl, Abby, lately, but I'm really learning that as I'm teaching her, and helping her through this stage in her life, I am being reminded of the lessons myself, and absorbing them into my own life in a new way. Becoming a parent, and passing along wisdom that my Mom once gave to me, is humbling and scary, and makes me think twice before I move or speak because little ears are always listening and little eyes are always watching.

I'm realizing that through Abby's difficulties, though, that she is able to teach me things too. She is taking to heart what we're teaching her, and applying it, and at this stage in her life she does so because she trusts us, because she's innocent, and her little heart wants to please. Though she is growing up, way too fast, she still has child-like wonder, and it's this quality that allows her to do what's right, even when it's not easy. For her, it's just what she's supposed to do, and she's never thought about doing anything different.

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Tonight I'm struggling with forgiveness, and battling my own heart, on Abby's behalf. This past week, a girl in Abby's class threatened her physically, and for the past month or so has been nothing but a thorn in Abby's side, for no real reason at all. But today at school, after weeks of tormenting, this girl came up to Abby and apologized. She said she wanted to be friends. And do you know what my amazing daughter did? She took her back. She said, OK, lets be friends. After one little word, Abby forgot all the pain and tears this girl had caused her, and took her back, because that was the right thing to do.

Now, I'm proud of her for this, because this is what Andrew & I have been teaching her. But part of me wants to say: "Now wait, this girl is trouble, stay away!" Part of me wants to say: "No way, she treated you poorly, and you're done." That's me wanting to protect her, wanting her to stay out of harms way and someone who may hurt her again.

But Abby just forgave.

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Why don't I do that?

Why is it so easy for a child, and so hard for us adults?

Why can't we turn the other cheek, accept an apology and move on? Why do we hold grudges, carry bitterness, and allow resentment to eat at our peace?

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My 11 year old opened my eyes tonight, and I wish I could say I'm as strong as she is, and willing to let bygones be bygones. But part of my heart is still holding on to those grievances, part of my spirit is still fighting the knowledge that I need to forgive.

I spend long hours every day teaching our girls, loving them, supporting them, and helping them along, so that they grow up right…but part of me wishes they never had to grow old and be tainted by the world. I wish I could keep them this innocent, keep them this pure, forever.

Our society looks down on kids in many ways, but if we all walked around with hearts like theirs, we'd be in such a better world.

Just imagine.

Casting Pearls

"Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy. 

Don't throw your pearls to pigs! 

They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you. 

- Matthew 7:6

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If you read my posts regularly, you know that our daughter, Abby, is in middle school now, and has had quite a few life-lessons to learn lately, which unfortunately for her, is a difficult  aspect to adolescence. I've assured her that I too had to learn the same things, and joke with her that I somehow survived and she will too. But it's a difficult time for her, and as her parents who want to protect her, it's a difficult time for us as well. 

In the last few weeks, Abby has been experiencing the pain of conditional friendships, and standing up for her beliefs, even when it's unpopular with her friends. She has had a few instances where standing up for her faith has caused her friends to turn their backs on her, and it's hard for her to understand. 

Today she came home with another story of how a girl "didn't want to be friends anymore" because Abby didn't want to hear her using bad language & has asked her to stop. The girls response was to ditch Abby and get a new friend. I explained to Abby how we were proud of her for calling out her friend on their dirty talk, and how proud we were that she was choosing not to participate. But taking it further, I explained to her what scripture tells us about "casting our pearls to swine." 

When she was done laughing and making faces at the odd expression, she asked what this meant. And I went into the explanation of how pearls represented something precious, and how God had planted goodness, tenderness, love, compassion, kindness and warmth within her heart, and how her heart was precious to God. I also explained how pigs represented unclean animals, something that God forbade the Jews to eat. Pigs, in Bible times, were useless, and so knowing that, this verse is saying, don't give what's precious within you to something that is not precious. Don't waste what's good on something that's not. 

This explanation seemed to encourage Abby, and I assured her that as time went on, and she grew up, many people would see her kindness and compassion and be naturally drawn to her. I told her that her personality would attract friends, and that she didn't need to worry about wasting her goodness on someone who would never appreciate it, and only turn and make fun of her. 

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This situation with Abby made me think about my own faith, and how many times we, as Christians, beat our heads against an invisible wall, trying to make those around us see God's truth, and see the goodness that He has for them. We hurt ourselves by pouring into these people life-giving truth, and being met only with disdain. 

But the Biblical truth about it, is, some people will never come to see truth, and God tells us not to waste what's sacred on these people, they will never accept it. 

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So what do we do instead? 

I told Abby to pray. I told her to pray for her friend who hurt her, and pray for her to come to understand God's truth. 

I told Abby to continue to offer friendship, but not to go out of her way to try to change this girl; 

And I told her to keep being her & eventually this other girl would come around, even if years later. 

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As Christians in a lost world, there is nothing else we can do. We cannot beg people to be saved, we cannot make people accept God's word, we cannot make them acknowledge a need for The Savior. 

All we can do is sit back and pray, offer love and truth when we can, and hone our pearl-casting skills. 

Let Us Pray

Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, 

it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 

- Matthew 18:19

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I wonder if we truly understood the weight of our prayers, and how they can effect the ones we love, if we would pray for others more. If we understood the privilege it is to go to The Father's throne for another, if we felt the weight of our brother & sister's need, truly tugging at our heart, if we would fall down on our knees before our Holy God every chance we got, pouring out or own soul for another. 

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You may be sitting there tonight, thinking that your little words don't matter to God. Or that you aren't the one that God needs to hear from, or that maybe God isn't really listening at all. 

Scripture tells us that the prayers of a righteous man avail much (James 5:16) and in today's verse, we see that when two of us on earth pray together, God is there with us, hearing our prayer, and seeing to it's completion. This translation actually says: "...It will be done…" Do you hear how concrete that is?

God doesn't say that when this person or that person pray, He'll listen…He says: "When two agree" There are no other requirements listed hear, just faith in agreeing with another Christian. You can do that, you're called to do that. 

When we pray for those around us who are in need, God is listening, and He is working to answer the prayer. This is a promise for us. Do you see how significant that is to those who are hurting and crying out for answers? It means that they can pray in hope, knowing that their prayers are heard, and that God will work. We are able to pray knowing that God will answer. 

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Our Christian brothers and sisters need us to be praying for them, I need you to be praying for me, because some things, we just can't do on our own. Here, God shows us how important it is for us to share our prayer needs, and allow those around you to pray on your behalf. God wants us to share with one another, drawing each other in, not because He needs more people in order to answer, but because He wants us to connect with one another, and go to His thrown together, praying for the same purpose. 

God longs for us to be in fellowship with one another, drawing to each other & drawing to Him. He knows that it's in the trusting each other with prayer needs, that our lives connect, our hearts connect, and we are more fully able to see and understand God's love for us through another person. God intends for us to depend on one another, and He gives us that example here:

Share your needs, pray together, join together in faith that I will listen and answer.

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It should encourage your heart to be able to pray for another. It should drive you, to build relationships, and draw nearer to God as you join in prayer with a brother or sister. You should see this as a privilege. 

It's when you understand this, that you'll be able to understand the weight of your prayers, and how precious they are to God's ears. And it will be then, that you seek others out, asking their needs, and carrying them to our Father's feet. 

We need each other, because some burdens are just too heavy to carry alone. Seek your sister out, seek your brother out, and ask them how you can pray for them. 

Your prayer may be the one God is waiting to hear. 

You Are Loved

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever beliveth on Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life."

 - John 3:16

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One of the biggest failures of the church, in my opinion, is the amount of judgement felt coming from Christians all across America every day. There must be a fine balance understood, between admitting we are sinners in need of The Savior, and heaping shame and guilt on an already broken life, and I think many times this balance is off kilter.

There are many conservative churches in our nation that would rather remind someone of their failures, than point them to The One Who can forgive them and save them. There are many times that the good news of Christ loving us, and dying for us are almost put on the back shelf, in order for condemnation to be front and center. There are churches that would rather separate themselves from a fallen world, than reach out, lest they be touched by the dirty world themselves. 

These churches make my heart hurt, because they are ultimately why, many un-churched people misunderstand what the Christian life is all about. It's these churches that are giving us Christ- followers a bad rap.

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Though we all need to understand that sin is very real and unacceptable in the eyes of God, the news that will change lives is not that people are sinners...but that they are loved sinners. Our world is full of lost, hurting, broken souls, and they need to know that God loves them, and loved them enough to die for them, to save them from their pain and sin.

People at your job, family members, neighbors down the street at your local bar, need to know that The Almighty God in Heaven loves them, right where they are. They need to know that when Christ chose to die for us, He died for all, knowing all of the sins that all of us would ever commit. They need to know That God knows them, and knew them, before time even began. And in knowing who we would be, and what we would do, He loved us, and died to save us anyway, because His love was that great. 

The true trans formative truth of the gospel is that God loves us, and sent His Son to save us. This is the good news, this is the news that will change people, what people long to hear.

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If you haven't heard me, you need to hear me now: God loves you, and He longs for a relationship with you. He loved you before He made you, and He gave His life for you, so that you could live forever with Him.

This is the good news, and it's up to us to spread it.

This is the news that people in your life need to hear from you.