The Lesson My 11 Year Old Taught Me

"But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. 

If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also." 

- Matthew 5:39

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I know I've written a lot about our oldest girl, Abby, lately, but I'm really learning that as I'm teaching her, and helping her through this stage in her life, I am being reminded of the lessons myself, and absorbing them into my own life in a new way. Becoming a parent, and passing along wisdom that my Mom once gave to me, is humbling and scary, and makes me think twice before I move or speak because little ears are always listening and little eyes are always watching.

I'm realizing that through Abby's difficulties, though, that she is able to teach me things too. She is taking to heart what we're teaching her, and applying it, and at this stage in her life she does so because she trusts us, because she's innocent, and her little heart wants to please. Though she is growing up, way too fast, she still has child-like wonder, and it's this quality that allows her to do what's right, even when it's not easy. For her, it's just what she's supposed to do, and she's never thought about doing anything different.

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Tonight I'm struggling with forgiveness, and battling my own heart, on Abby's behalf. This past week, a girl in Abby's class threatened her physically, and for the past month or so has been nothing but a thorn in Abby's side, for no real reason at all. But today at school, after weeks of tormenting, this girl came up to Abby and apologized. She said she wanted to be friends. And do you know what my amazing daughter did? She took her back. She said, OK, lets be friends. After one little word, Abby forgot all the pain and tears this girl had caused her, and took her back, because that was the right thing to do.

Now, I'm proud of her for this, because this is what Andrew & I have been teaching her. But part of me wants to say: "Now wait, this girl is trouble, stay away!" Part of me wants to say: "No way, she treated you poorly, and you're done." That's me wanting to protect her, wanting her to stay out of harms way and someone who may hurt her again.

But Abby just forgave.

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Why don't I do that?

Why is it so easy for a child, and so hard for us adults?

Why can't we turn the other cheek, accept an apology and move on? Why do we hold grudges, carry bitterness, and allow resentment to eat at our peace?

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My 11 year old opened my eyes tonight, and I wish I could say I'm as strong as she is, and willing to let bygones be bygones. But part of my heart is still holding on to those grievances, part of my spirit is still fighting the knowledge that I need to forgive.

I spend long hours every day teaching our girls, loving them, supporting them, and helping them along, so that they grow up right…but part of me wishes they never had to grow old and be tainted by the world. I wish I could keep them this innocent, keep them this pure, forever.

Our society looks down on kids in many ways, but if we all walked around with hearts like theirs, we'd be in such a better world.

Just imagine.