Growing in Grace

"And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, 

that you, always having all sufficiency in all things,

may have an abundance for every good work."

- 2 Corinthians 9:8

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I'm a strong believer that God gives each of us an individual story in this life to not only teach us lessons, and allow us to help others in a similar situation, but more so, to draw us to our LORD, and bring glory and honor to Himself. And I also believe, that in order for God's name to be glorified, we, as His children, need to be telling our stories, and speaking of the good that He's done in our lives. 

You all know that I'm pretty vulnerable on this blog, pretty transparent about my life and the lives of those in my family. I can tell you that I'm that way because I believe in sharing my life, I believe in the power of speaking God's goodness, and I believe in building community through a shared life. I believe that God gives each of us a story to tell, and I have felt called to share mine with you. 

So I write, and I try to write honestly and openly, allowing God to use whatever situation I'm in. 

So today I'm going to dive right in, to my very personal, and very sticky situation. 

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Right now I'm on the journey of growing in grace. 

I say journey, because learning to love when my human heart doesn't want to love, and being kind when my human heart wants to be dismissive, and being compassionate when my human heart is jealous, is hard and not natural, and takes stretching, and changing, and growing. It's a journey. 

And I know that for this season of my life, God is heaping grace down from Heaven and telling me it's time to grow, time to learn, and time to be more like Him. 

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We are moving my husbands Ex-mother-in-law 2 hours away from her life-long home town, to be 10 minutes from us, so that she can be close to Abby & Lauren, and not have to miss seeing them grow up and all of the activities and adventures that 10 & 12 year olds are bound to have. It's important for us that the girls spend time with their Grandmother, and it's important to us that Diane not be alone. We are taking this step, knowing that ultimately, this is what God wants us to do, knowing that it's good for the kids and good for Diane. 

But if I'm being honest, to myself, and probably for Diane as well, our situation here is a little hard sometimes. 

It must be hard for Diane to come to my home, and hear her Granddaughters call me "Mom." It must be hard for her to see Andrew with me, and it must be hard for her to understand how they can move forward with their lives, after the devastating loss of Kelly. It can't be easy for her, none of it is easy, but she handles it with grace. 

Instead of undermining remarks, she shows me respect. Instead of critical comments, she shows me support. And instead of a cold dismissal, she welcomed me, and offers me love. And not just me, but my family, and my baby girl as well. 

Though our situation is not easy, God has given us grace to grow as a new family, and grace to love each other, even when it's not natural, even when it's hard. 

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There are times when seeing Diane is a glaring reminder of Kelly, and I have to battle with myself as the devil tells me lie after lie of how I don't belong, and how someone else should be here, and how I'll never be enough. There are moments when accepting my husbands Ex-Mother-in-law into my family just seems unnatural, not because of her, but because of the situation itself, and how hard that it. Wives are not usually asked to love their spouses Ex-family, it's just not normally what happens. But you have to remember, Kelly didn't walk out on Andrew, she passed away, so there's no real reason why her family would stop coming around. Diane is the girls Grandmother, and she has a right to be in their lives, and I have to respect that. 

Further more, as a Christian, I am called to love Diane, and show empathy and compassion to her, and love her as Christ loves her. I am called to stomp on all the painful things that Satan whispers to me, and allow grace to take over my heart, and let it drip from my being until my entire surroundings are covered in the love of God. 

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God has been working from the moment I met Andrew, to the moment I met his girls, through our wedding, and into my journey of being a new Wife and Mom. God has been healing hearts, softening and breaking through walls, and chipping away at my human desires that want to rebel. God has been shaping our family, knitting us together with a string that won't fray, and calling us to be new creations in Him. 

And though our family doesn't look like everyone else's, I am honored to have Diane in our life, and a part of my mismatched family. God's plans and designs are always perfect, even when they look odd to the human eye. 

And though the situation may be hard at times, God has given us all the strength to move forward, and embrace the hard, knowing this is the story God has given us. He has called us to this life, to this sticky situation, and it's our job to embrace it, learn from it, and grow into better people because of it. 

God doesn't make mistakes, and so our family didn't happen by circumstance. Our family came to be because God gave us to each other, and we are a gift to each other, not a burden.  And on the days that my emotions take over and I feel sorry for myself, I have to remember this, and know that God has me here for a reason, and this is exactly the place God wants me to be. 

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I am growing in grace daily, being stretched by His spirit, with the goal of someday entering His presence and hearing: "Well done."

I am growing in grace, growing closer to my Father, where I am able to sit at His feet, bask in His goodness, and reflect His mercy. 

I am growing in grace…