Letting My Shepherd Lead

"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart;
    He gently leads those that have young." 

- Isaiah 40:11

. . .

I've come to the end of my rope. I'm emotional. I'm stressed. I'm tired. The situations of daily life have taken their toll, and my energy is depleted.

Ever been there?

It should come as no surprise that I'm tired. The last 2 months has been hard on me and my family: selling our old home 2 hrs away, traveling down every week at least once to get the house ready for the new buyers, packing dozens of boxes, sorting through "stuff" that accumulates with normal life and children, renting trucks and storage units, shuffling finances to make it all work, asking family for help that never seems to end, moving to a temporary rental home, unpacking sections of your life- enough to get by, but not everything you use on a daily basis, having the kids home for summer vacation, needing to entertain them all day long, and trying to find my balance of being a full time Mom, which I've never been because when Andrew & I got married, the girls were already in school, being pregnant and facing the challenges of this changing body and emotions, having Andrew start 2 new jobs, one of which he gets up for at 3am, taking on the responsibilities of a new church congregation, learning people's names and needs, finding a new home, home inspections, having to fire a realtor I didn't trust, and finally having the bank accept our offer, and the stresses of owning a new house and facing the work that needs to be done in order to make it a home.

Our lives have been in transition- not in uproar- but not quite at rest either.

This morning I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to face more work, or another day of refereeing the girls. I was so tired that my eyes didn't want to open, and my body rebelled as I straightened.

But I knew I HAD to get up, I knew the work waiting for me, and it couldn't wait. So as I sat down at my desk to edit an engagement session and get my camera gear ready for the wedding I'm shooting this weekend, I knew I needed to fix what was going on in my heart before any work would get done. I'd already banished the girls from my office, warning them today was not the day to cross Mommy, and I pulled up BibleGateway.com.

Though reading scripture online isn't, dare I say, as "romantic", as reading from a worn, trusted book, the words are the same. The words are still alive, able to transform us if we allow. I knew Isaiah would understand my plight, so I turned there. Isaiah's beautiful writing style has always resonated with me, and today was no different. As I followed God's faithfulness through the chapters, I came to today's verse:


"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart;
    He gently leads those that have young."

- Isaiah 40:11


This image of God carrying us like sheep has never been lost to me. I've been a dumb sheep for as long as I can remember, making mistakes, needing to be taken care of, needing to be led. And the beauty of my God here, picturing Him stooping up to carry me in His arms, holding me close to Him, is an image I will never tire of. We all need that security, we all need that comfort, we need the safety of our Shepherd to lead us to a quiet place, a place of refuge.

I've been so overwhelmed by life lately, not because it's been bad, or because we've had trial after trial to face, in fact, we've been surrounded by answered prayers! No, I've been overwhelmed by all the busyness of life, the daily ins and outs, the parenting, the decision making, the planning. Plain and simple, I'm just tired.

But here, we are reminded of God's promise to lead us, to take care of us through all the things life throws our way.

(I'm not a theologian by any means, and I may be reading this verse all wrong and making it apply to my life as I see it, but today it comforted me, so I'm going to roll with it): Did anyone else notice the last line?: "He gently leads those that have young." Does that mean God understands how hard it is to raise children? Does that mean He knows how tired I am, and how most days I wonder if I can do it right? Does this mean He knows how overwhelming children can be, and how sometimes as parents we just need a break? Does this mean He'll take over and lead me as I try to lead them? Yes. That's exactly what it means.



"My yoke is easy, and my burden light" - Matthew 11:30

"Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest" - Matthew 11:28

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made great through weakness" - 2 Corinthians 12:9

"I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my mighty right hand." - Isaiah 41:10



Does anyone else see a pattern here?

God is promising to take our burden, over and over again, if we just give it to Him.

To be truthful, and Andrew will attest to this, sometimes I'd rather hold onto the burden myself. Sometimes I like control a little too much, sometimes I let my emotions take over, and sometimes my pride tells me to hang on to my resentment, bitterness, or plight. I have moments of "woe is me", and I'm not proud of it, but it's true.

But this morning, I am reminded that I need to let my Shepherd lead me. I need to LET Him take my heavy burden and in turn, receive from Him something light that I can carry. I need to let Him help me, and I need to find my refuge in Him.

On days when I'm tired, and I don't feel like doing what needs to be done, I need to turn to my Father and trust that He will make it all okay. He promises to do just that over and over throughout scripture, but I need to let Him.

I need to let go.