A Life of Peace

"For He Himself is our peace, 

Who has made the two groups one 

and has destroyed the barrier, 

the dividing wall of hostility."

- Ephesians 2:14

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I started a new devotional for Step-Mom's today. I've had the book for years, but have had a hard time connecting with it since I'm not a traditional "Step-Mom." I've never called the girls my step-children, and they've always just called me "Mom", of which I have always been proud, telling everyone that there aren't labels separating us, because God placed me here, and made us a new family. I never wanted to let labels define our relationship as Mom & daughter, and I never wanted the world to dismiss me as just the Step-Mom. Those labels hurt, and I've fought for almost 4 years to overcome them. 

But as one of my daughters has grown, cracks in the foundation of our relationship have appeared. It's undeniable now that there are years missing from our history, another Mom's way of living overshadowing mine, and a certain wall of separation keeping us apart. Though we've both put in the effort, 4 years just isn't a lot of time to build the kind of bond that other Mothers & daughters have, and I've felt a lot of pressure to fix this and make it right. 

But something God has been teaching me lately, is that there is no easy fix for our pain and sufferings in this life. Sometimes they are necessary, and sometimes we need to go through our days of trial in order to grow closer to our Savior. And sometimes, we need to just learn how to live in peace despite our current situation. 

Which leads me to today's devotion. Today I read Ephesians 2:14, where we are told that Jesus is our peace, how He's torn the dividing wall down, and how we are now all welcome into the family of God (Both Gentile & Jew) and how we are now called to a life of peace. 

I began to focus on this idea of living in peace, fully aware that I am not at all a peaceful person...

Peace is defined in Webster's as: "Freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility"…If you were to ask those closest to me if those words described me, they would probably laugh. 

I am usually the person running around fixing things, worrying over things, loud, passionate, easily flustered, and busy. I don't know how to stop thinking, I don't know how to stop analyzing, and worst of all…I don't know how to stop fixing... 

But God has called me to peace. He's provided a Savior Who IS my peace…and yet, here I sit upset over life. 

There are places in my relationship with my daughter that hurt so much, some days all I can do is cry. I've allowed fear and anxiety to creep in, and I've allowed satan to hurt me with his lies of defeat. But here Jesus is promising to be my peace, and is calling me to rest in Him. 

In light of WHO my God is, I can rest. In light of WHO my God promises to be, I can lay my burden down. I cannot fix the problem with my daughter overnight, and I may never be able to fix it at all…but no matter what happens, I can learn to live a life of peace, knowing that my Jesus has won, knowing that my Jesus loves me, and is covering me with His everlasting peace that passes all understanding. 

We live in a world full of sin, pain, suffering and death…but God has given us a way to overcome. He's given us His Son Jesus, and He is our peace amidst any storm that comes our way. We can choose to lay our pain down, accept the trial, and ask Jesus to fill us with His peace. We can rest in the safety of our Savior, and know that He is at work for us, and that one day, all will be well. 

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