The Hope of Heaven

"But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive."

- 1 Corinthians 15:20-22 

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This verse out of Corinthians is today's "verse of the day" on Bible Gateway. It's funny how many times I open that website, to find a verse that I need exactly at that moment. I know that God doesn't do things by chance or coincidence, and that His Word is active and alive, and that He gives us the Words we need when we need them. He is a good God, even when our world looks so very dark. 

I've had a rough couple of days, feeling very hormonal and emotional, weepy and sad. I know being in my third trimester of my pregnancy is not helping my grief, in fact, I'm quite sure it's amplified every emotion I've felt. 

Yesterday I had moments of great despair, thinking about how life will never be the same, how we will always carry this sadness around with us, and how even the hope of Heaven doesn't quite feel like enough sometimes. 

I was feeling upset because, in Heaven, we won't care about our life here on earth, we won't be married to our spouses, or have the same relationship with our family members as we did on Earth. I was upset because I WANT my Mom, I want the relationship I had with her to be the same in Heaven, I want to run to her and hold her and tell her all the things I've had on my heart since she died. But I know Heaven won't be like that, because at that point, God would have healed everything, made everything well, revealed His complete glory and majesty, and once I'm there, I won't NEED my Mom in the same way I need her so desperately on Earth. In my emotional state, that just wasn't good enough, and I told my Dad: "Then what is our hope at all, if I can't have her back?!" 

In my human state, I just can't understand it all, or make sense of the emotions in my heart. I only know how to reason like a human, think like a human, feel like a human, and fix like a human. I can't imagine what Heaven will feel like, how it will heal me in every way, because I'm not God, and I can't see the beginning and the end. I haven't experienced the glory of Heaven, I've only experienced the pain of Earth…

But God wouldn't have sent His only Son to Earth, to endure human life, to suffer, to bleed, to be nailed to a cross, to take all of our sins, to be separated from His Father, to die the death I deserved, and to RISE again, conquering death, if it wasn't good enough…

God, in His infinite wisdom, would not have designed the plan this way, if it wouldn't bring complete healing and complete peace. Jesus had to die and rise from the dead, so that our death would not end in the grave. Jesus had to overcome death, to close the gates of Hell, so that we too could overcome death, and live forever in Heaven. 

That plan IS good enough, does hold our complete hope as Christians…even on the days when I'm missing my Mom so much, and needing her…

I don't understand how all will be made well in the twinkling of an eye…but it has to be enough for me because God says that it will! I have to trust in my Father God, who loves me, who sees me grieving, and who made a way for me to spend eternity with Him and my Mom. I have to keep walking by faith, even when my eyes cannot possibly make sense of what's ahead of me. Heaven has to be enough, it's the only hope I have. 

And because I have that hope, I can keep going another day. I can keep clinging to it with everything I have, until God reveals more of His plan. Right now, everything seems dark, but I have the promise of light, and I'll keep walking forward, keeping my eyes on Heaven.