Becoming One

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.' ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.” 

- Mark 10:6-8 (NIV)

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In today's society, with all of our busy lifestyles and addictive technology, sharing quality time with another person can be really difficult. We may spend a lot of time with someone, but how often are we sharing coffee over text messaging instead of heart to heart, eye-contact conversation? How often do we forgo seeing someone in person because we can face-time them, or message them online? And for some of us, we'd love to be able to see friends, but there's just no time, our days are so jam packed full. As a society, we have grown cold, satisfied with half-full relationships, suffocated by 'things' instead of flourishing in the original intention that God had when He created us relational beings. 

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Marriage is a holy union put in place by God. And today's scripture reminds us that when two people become married, they are no longer two individual lives, but they are joined together into one. 

Two lives merge. Two personalities, two sets of dreams, two outlooks, two opinions, two joys, two failures, two persons, two spirits…become one. 

How do we become one, and maintain being one, when we do not spend quality time with our spouses?

Being one with your spouse requires you to know your spouse, and that 'knowing' happens through living life together, through trial and through triumph, through commitment, through loving each other well. 

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I am a person that requires quality time with my husband. People do not all feel, offer, and receive love in the same way as another person, each of us being wired differently, and so quality time may not be something you crave. But for me, being alone with my husband, talking about life and laughing together, is one of my favorite things to do, because it is just him & I, and we are together, investing in each other, enjoying life together. I need this time with him, in order for my "love tank" to be all filled up, and it's what my soul feeds from during the long week when our time together is more about children, grocery shopping, bills, household maintenance, and work. Quality time is what makes me feel connected to Andrew, how I feel "one" with him. 

As married couples, it is so important to find your "thing", because every couple is different. Tonight's scripture reminds us that God desires for every married couple to become one, to let go of previous lives, and join with another person. God unites our hearts in marriage, and it's through becoming one, that we are able to withstand the stresses of life. When we are one with our spouse, trouble will come, but it will not destroy, because the strength of your marriage will be sound. You are knit together, with Christ being the last piece, and nothing will separate you. 

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As Christians in todays society, it is even more important for us to be actively striving to be one with our spouse. Divorce, neglect, abuse, adultery, are all common in households across our world, but they must not be common in Christian marriages. This is not God's desire, not His design for marriage. 

He's given us the blueprint for a strong, healthy marriage, and it starts with being one with your spouse. 

Whatever is holding you back, from becoming one with your spouse today, get rid of it. It's not important. Make the time, put away life's distractions, and commit to giving yourself to your spouse, letting go of your previous life, and becoming one. 

Submission & Other Hot Topics

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 

Your adornment must not be merely external braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 

For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. 

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 

- 1 Peter 3:1-7

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I've often wondered if the day would come when I'd feel bold enough to write about marriage. I think the reason I have shied away from this huge aspect of my life, when I divulge so many other parts of my life, is because marriage, in general, is seen as a personal thing, and in most church circles, not a lot is said about marriage- just to tell you that you need to have a good one.

When Andrew & I first married, I admit that I was completely naive to understanding what it would be like to live with someone completely different than me. In our 6 month courtship, Andrew & I had never had a disagreement, and I thought that was how Christian relationships were supposed to be. A few months into marriage, though, I learned that disagreements can be a very real part of marriage, especially in the beginning, when everything is so new. 

When we had our first "fight", I was completely broken, convinced that our relationship was flawed, and I wasn't the Christian God was calling me to be. I assumed that because Andrew & I were both saved, and loved each other, that nothing would ever come between us, but I had forgotten that Andrew & I are still just people, and people sin. 

I learned that living in a godly marriage takes work, deliberateness, and a whole lot of dying to self. It was actually through marriage & parenting, that my biggest flaws have been revealed to me, staring me blank in the face, demanding change. 

We all like to think that we'll be the perfect spouse, but the truth is, being a good spouse takes work.

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A "hot" topic in today's church is wives being submissive to their husbands. Many consider this "rule" for marriage to be outdated, considering we're in the 21st century, and women are seen as equals to men. The feminist movement penetrated the church long ago, and at some point, it became acceptable for Christian women to think that submission needed to be earned by their husbands, needed to be deserved, and was actually, a choice. 

But this scripture is pretty clear, God says do it, and He doesn't give any conditions. In fact, He goes further and says do it even when husbands are "disobedient to the word"…does this mean when they don't deserve it? Yup, sure does. God doesn't leave any room for wives to choose an un-submissive stance. We are told to submit, period. 

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I admit, this is hard for me. This is one of the areas that I have needed to be conscious of, deliberate of, because it is not in my nature to be submissive. 

On the contrary, I can be quite forward, pushy, strong-willed, and quick to speak my mind. I come from a strong Italian and Irish background, and because of this influence, I speak loud and fast and with purpose. Though my natural speaking voice is high and childlike, my discussion tone is much different, and the two switch at the drop of a hat. It is not natural for me to sit still, quietly listening, while someone says something I disagree with, and I have been shown that those areas of my personality must be shed, must be refined, must come under the will of God, and change. 

They have to change, because my husband has been given a place of honor in my life, and in loving him the way God intended, I need to surrender to my own will and nature, and submit to the man I married, the man I love. 

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This is hard stuff, isn't it? 

Learning to change the way you think, the way you act, the way you speak is not easy, but this is something God requires, and it's for our best. We always must remember that God doesn't give us "rules" to hurt us, but to lead us to the very best life He has for us. 

God has very specific laws for marriage, has given very distinct roles to husbands and wives, for the purpose of edifying one another, and living in the harmony of a marriage set on the foundation of God. He has given us these rules not to hurt us, not to make us feel stifled, but to lead us to the very best marriage relationship possible, because He loves us that much, and desires for our marriages to be loving, kind, gentle, committed, and rooted in His truth. 

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Look at the second parts of this verse, God tells women to submit first, and second, it's in the submitting that we learn to have a "gentle and quiet spirit" which God says is precious. We are told that it's through this submitting, that our inner hearts will change and reflect beauty, and the inner, true quality of a women, will be revealed. God tells us here, it's not the outside that I care about, and it's not what you should care about either. You need to care about your heart, your inner beauty, because this is where your worth lies. 

This is beautiful for us, as women, because God is taking the pressure off of us to look a certain way, and live up to a certain worldly expectation, as if to say: "It's your heart that matters. Fix it, make it right, that's what will reveal your true beauty." Isn't that freeing? To know that God only looks to the heart? 

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And finally, we see in the last section of this verse, how husbands are to love their wives. After we women have worked on our own attitudes and hearts, it is the husbands job to come along side us, and tenderly love us, and take care of us as the weaker spouse. God tells husbands here to show honor to their wives, living with her in understanding. 

This is God's call to husbands, not letting them off any hooks because they are men. No, husbands are responsible too. Husbands are called to be gentle and understanding, which, much like in wives having to submit, is not necessarily natural for men to do. Men are not initially "wired" to be soft and gentle, understanding the feminine heart. But God isn't giving men an option here either. He tells husbands to get to know your wife, understand her, and take care of her heart. God puts the protection and care of a wife's heart, in the hands of her husband, and this is both a precious and weighty gift. 

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Andrew & I have only been married for a year and a half, so I have to admit, that many of these things I am still learning. But God's word is clear, and when we desire what God desires, we must look to scripture as our guide, and do what it says. It will take work, it will take sacrifice, but I know the outcome is worth it, because I know Who my God is. 

My God would never give us these rules to hurt us. He would never give us these roles to take away our worth. Just the opposite, God is giving us these guidelines so that we know the path we must take, and when we obey Him, we will live in the amazing love of a marriage that is blessed by God. God gave us this scripture to help us, to give us the very best life. 

Who wouldn't want that? 

The Unpopular Path

"But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, 

and only a few ever find it."

- Matthew 7:14

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As a Mom, my heart is heavy tonight, thinking of our Abby, and the struggles she is facing. She is in 6th grade, just beginning middle school, and she so badly desires to fit in, and be like her peers. 

We have pretty strict rules at home: keeping them from watching most TV shows and movies, not allowing them to listen to music with bad lyrics, making them eat their fruits & veggies, and going to bed early and still take naps on weekends. We do these things, as parents, because we want to protect our girls from things in this world that will hurt them. We keep them from the trash and evil that suffocates our society, because as Christian parents, we need to protect our children from that. We keep them healthy, growing strong, and active so that they grow up right. That's what parents do. 

But for little 12 year old girls, these things are hard to understand. She knows Mom & Dad love her, but she also knows that she wants to be like her classmates and do what they do. She wants to be popular, and our rules, are keeping her from doing that. 

If you're not a parent, you won't understand this heartbreak, but it's so hard to look at our daughter and tell her that the world is mean and cruel, and we're sorry she gets picked on for going to church and for not swearing, but that those things are good, and best, and what God wants. It's hard because part of me  wants her to be the most popular and have the most friends and be accepted by everyone she meets, but the other part of me needs to protect her, and teach her right from wrong. And I know, that in teaching her God's way, she won't be popular. 

That's the part that breaks my heart. Because living the Christian life is not easy. It's not easy for adults, and it's certainly not easy for children. 

Though we know it's the best life, it's not easy. 

As parents, we hope our children will trust us enough to listen to us, and to trust that we know what's best for them. And so far, our girls do pretty well with that. They know that we love them, and we're doing what's best for them, but it's hard, their poor little hearts are so torn. 

I want to protect them from the ridicule, mocking, cruelty & hardship that they'll face being Christians in a non-Christian world, but there's no way I can do that. 

My Children are identifying themselves with Christ, and The Bible promises that those who follow Christ will not live an easy life, because Christ Himself didn't lead an easy life. We are told we'll have troubles, and heartaches, and trials…but it's hard to watch your children struggle, even when you know that ultimately, it's for their good. 

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Today's verse came to mind as I was talking with Abby tonight. Our girls are walking on a narrow path, that their classmates are not walking. Our girls are going one way, while the world is going another. The Bible says that the path to Life is narrow, and only a few will find it. 

But even though the path is narrow, and difficult, we have to remember that our little narrow path following Christ, leads to LIFE. Our path, that only a few will take, leads to eternal life, with a Savior Who died to save us. God's path, though unpopular, is the very best for us to follow, for my girls to follow, and I'm proud of them for taking it. 

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Following Christ, and the narrow road is not easy, but it leads to the very best life we could ever live. When you face trials this week, and you feel like you're all alone in a big world that doesn't agree with you, remind yourself that you're in the very best company, because Christ walked your path first. Remember that the steps you are taking, are leading you to life, and the best life you could ever imagine. 

And in the end, our journey will be worth it, when God looks at us and says: "Well done, good and faithful servant." - Matthew 25:21

And whatever trials we faced here on earth will be forgotten, our battle won. 

That sounds like a happy ending to me. 

Friends in Christ

"I thank my God every time I remember you. 

It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart ...God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus."

- Philippians 1:1, 7-8

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I have always loved reading the introductions in Paul's letters to the first churches, because the love he has for these people, his brothers and sisters in Christ, is so obvious and touching. I love Paul's heart, and how deeply and passionately he lives for Christ, and lives to love those around him well. Paul's heart was to teach, to exhort, to encourage, and sometimes to even correct, but behind it all, was the desire to love his friends in Christ. 

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There's an amazing bond between Christians, a friendship knit together because Christ has done it, by bringing two lives together, and because Christ has done the connecting, that connection can never be broken. 

I have sisters in Christ that I can go days, months, even years without speaking to- just because life takes us apart- and the minute I see them again, or hear their voice again, we are able to pick right back up as if time never passed. 

The reason we are able to do this, is because our souls are connected in Christ. He is the center of our relationship, and though our lives change, and we grow older, Christ, does not. He is constant, and so, He is the constant "glue" in Christian friendships. 

When friendships are centered on Christ, they are often focused on praise for what God has done, encouragement through scripture, reminders of God's faithfulness, scriptural challenges, and genuine love. These friendships are not like the world's, where jealousy, slander, and petty behavior rips two people apart. 

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I received a phone call tonight from one of these true friends I'm speaking of, a sister in Christ. We haven't actually seen each other in years, but the moment I heard that familiar voice, tears stung my eyes. I was speaking again with my dear friend, remembering the path that our friendship has taken, and being encouraged again by the love God has shown me through this friend. We were able to catch up with just a few words, acknowledging God's work in the other's lives, and rejoicing with one another. We were able to genuinely share what's really going on in our hearts, because there are no walls between sisters in Christ. 

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I'm thankful, tonight, for the friendships God brings into our lives, and the way He blesses us and shows us His love through these friendships. 

And just as Paul showed love to the original churches, remember today, that as Christians, we are called to love one another in this same way. Be a good sister, be a good brother, understanding that in the family of Christ, we all need each other. 

With Groaning Too Deep For Words

"In the same way The Spirit also helps our weakness; 

for we do not know how to pray as we should, 

but The Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." 

- Romans 8:26

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I've been waiting for the news for a few weeks now, and today I got word that my friend Gladys went home to be with our LORD this morning. 

I haven't seen Gladys in years, but she and her family were a big part of my childhood and adolescence, the kind of friends that stick with you, even when life takes you miles away. 

Dave, Gladys' husband, was one of my Dad's deacons growing up. He was my Dad's right hand man, any time Dad needed something for the church, Dave was one of the first people he called. Because of this, Dave & Gladys were close friends to my parents, and naturally, our families grew up together. Dave and Gladys have 3 children, all older than my brother & I, but I was close to their youngest daughter, Kathleen, despite the age gap. Growing up, I thought she was the coolest person I knew, and I tried so hard to be like her. 

It was through her that I began following the news on Gladys. She'd had cancer before, and now it was back. The last few weeks, we have prayed, and cried, and remembered sweet memories, and today is no different. 

I am remembering Sunday school lessons, junior church flannel boards, VBS dramas, and a million tiny things that memories hold onto: her wedding band, her watch, the way her fingers looked guiding me through the pages of my Bible, the soft words she spoke, and yes, even the times we got reprimanded for misbehaving. 

I am remembering a beautiful lady, who is now Home with her LORD. 

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This morning, after reading my email, I laid in bed snuggled up in a quilt that Gladys made for me years ago, when I went away to college. I've brought it with me everywhere I've gone since: college dorms, my first apartment, my first home, and now here, to our new home, where my daughters use it to keep warm. It's a symbol of love, and it's special to me, even more special now. 

I laid there for a while, trying to pray, but not having the words. And it was then, that today's verse popped into my head. "The Spirit intercedes"…I was comforted by knowing that though my heart is hurting, and my words and failing, that The Holy Spirit Himself, goes to The Father's throne for me, praying the prayer that my heart can not utter. 

My heart hurts for this family, my spirit longs to comfort them, and it's in realizing that I'm not able, that I see how Great and how Loving my God is. 

Because, this morning, miles and miles away, His arms are surrounding this family. In the scattered states of New England, His arms reach that far, circling them with comfort and peace. He is whispering to their hearts, and beginning to heal them, even now. 

Our God is that good, that He knows what we need, even when we don't. Our Companion, The God who never leaves our side, intercedes, with groans too deep for words. 

He knows our broken heart, and He knows how to heal it. 

And I know that even now, He's already begun. 

Jesus Wept

"Jesus Wept." 

- John 11:35

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I'm not sure when Christians first got the idea that mourning was a bad thing. But as long as I've been involved in churches, the second someone is grieving, they are covered in hurtful, cruel, ignorant platitudes: "It was God's will", "God won't give you more than you can handle", "Don't be sad, your loved one is in Heaven!", "It was meant to be", "Time will heal", "Give it to God." Though some of those statements may be true, they are not helpful, and do not encourage someone whose heart is broken. 

I think the reason these words flow out of churches is because churches are full of people, and people, despite their best intentions, are flawed and broken themselves. It is impossible for us to offer comfort to another person, when our own souls are so lost themselves. 

As broken, hopeless people, we must go to The One source of comfort, our Healer: Jesus Christ. He is our example, He is our hope, He is our sustainer in the darkest hours of our lives. He is all we can offer to someone who is hurting, because He is the only One who can help. 

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Today's verse is the shortest in scripture, but may be the most meaningful for those with a broken heart, because it gives permission. 

What do we do when the world has crushed our spirits, ripped out our hearts, and we find ourselves broken down lower than we've ever been? What comfort is there for us? What do we do to recover? 

Here, Jesus gives us our example: we mourn. 

We open up our hearts to our Holy God in Heaven, and we cry. We let the tears fall down, as the breath within our chest is almost too difficult to release. We bury our head in our hands, and we cry. 

When tragedy reaches our doorstep, Jesus shows us here that it is important to mourn, important to acknowledge the pain, and let your body release the agony of loss. 

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Jesus wept.  

This little verse is in the middle of the story of Lazarus' death. 

Lazarus was Jesus' friend, referred to as "the one Jesus loved", and he was sick. Knowing that Jesus could heal their brother, Mary & Martha sent word to Jesus, for Him to come back and heal Lazarus. But Jesus knew what would happen, and didn't rush to get back to Bethany to save him from death. 

Jesus knew that Lazarus would die, yet, when he came upon the scene, he was overcome with sadness, and he wept. 

Knowing that he would raise Lazarus from the grave, Jesus wept. Knowing that Lazarus would live again, Jesus wept. Why? Because in that moment, Jesus was separated from the one He loved, and that hurt. He cried for His loss, and He cried for the loss of those around Him. 

Imagine Mary & Martha here: "If You had been here, our brother wouldn't have died!" (John 11:21) Imagine how much it must have hurt Jesus to see Mary & Martha hurting. Jesus wept, knowing that their pain would soon be turned to rejoicing. 

My point here, is Jesus knew all of it: he knew the beginning and the end, and yet, the pain He was experiencing still brought Him to tears, He still mourned. 

If Christ mourned, should we feel above it? Should we discourage those who are broken to dismiss their pain, and get over their suffering? 

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Shame on us. 

Loss and grief are very real, undeniable parts of life, and when we tell someone to forget their loss and move on, we are only adding to their pain. Life deserves to be celebrated, and when someone dies, their live deserves to be mourned. 

Even when we know that Christ will raise them again. 

Even when we know they're in Heaven. 

Even when we know that God is with us and helping us through. 

Even when we know it was God's will. 

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Jesus wept. 

And it's ok for us to do the same. 

We Ought to Know Better

"If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, 

it is sin for them." 

- James 4:17

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I'm not sure there's anything as humbling as becoming a parent. In every situation you are watched, questioned, scrutinized, and whatever you do - kids remember, at least, they do at 10 & 12. 

The stage of life our girls are in requires a lot of life-learning stuff. They've already learned the basics of personal care that toddlers and pre-schoolers need to learn. They've already learned  how to be a good friend, and take care of their things (on good days) like elementary students learn, and now…they're on the verge of becoming little ladies, and they need to learn how to be good people. They need to learn life lessons, you know: dealing with a bruised heart, having a good work ethic, being responsible with your time and money, and following God's path. As I've been starting to teach the girls these things, again, I am reminded at how important it is for my own example to be a good one for them.  

It's a common response in our home, when the kids have done something they knew not to do, for me to say: "Don't you know better than that?" "Haven't I taught you what to do?" or "You're old enough to not do this"….typical things that most parents say when they're frustrated. 

Today's lesson for the girls, was helping out without having to be asked. After getting in trouble for leaving a mess, Abby responded: "But nobody told me to pick up the mess!" She thought she'd be able to talk herself out of it, but I responded: "Did you know you weren't supposed to leave a mess behind?" Her response: "Yes", and mine: "Then whose fault is it that you're in trouble?"

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Today's scripture came to mind as I was dealing with Abby…

"If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, 

it is sin for them." 

And when I said parenting was humbling earlier, here is why: As I am teaching our girls these lessons, and repeating myself day after day, I'm reminded of how closely this story illustrates our relationship with God, and how God has to tell me the same things I am telling my girls.  

Daily God has to remind me what to do, and what not to do. And when God tells us not to do something, we need to listen. When we disobey God, it's a little more serious than the girls doing something they shouldn't, The Bible actually calls it a sin. 

(Oh, boy. Michelle just brought up the "S" word. That's right folks, we sin. You better get used to that. You better accept it now, because sin is very real, and it doesn't escape any of us. We all sin.) 

Webster's defines sinning as: "Anything that violates God's will." and "A willful or deliberate violation of God's law"

When we, as God's children, as Christians, know to do something, and don't do it, we are sinning against God, we are violating His will. 

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When I'm teaching the girls a lesson, I tell them, keep practicing, keep doing the right thing, and soon enough, it will become habit. 

In our walk with Christ, we need to be doing the same thing: making habit out of doing what God has said is good, and turning away from the things He's told us are bad. When doing good becomes a habit, it will be natural for us to do what we need to do, because we have learned to walk in God's will. 

Following Christ takes deliberate decision, deliberate action, and we are held accountable for our actions, just as a child is who disobeys. 

Today's verse is a good reminder for us, that God requires us to do good, and to follow His will. 

We are without excuse, we ought to know better. 

East From The West

"As far as the east is from the west, 

So far has He removed our transgressions from us." 

- Psalm 103:12

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I've never been good at directions, or finding my location on a map, but even I know that East is one way, and West is the complete opposite way. Even I, in my directionally challenged mind, can understand that those two points never meet. 

I think this is why God chose to speak so plainly about how our sins are forgiven. He wanted to put it in terms people could understand: East from West. People are able to get that. It's simple, right?

Well, actually, the idea is very simple, yes. God separates our sin from us, as far as the East is from the West. The statement is clear. But is it easy to let this verse sink deep into your soul, allowing you to live in peace, knowing that you're forgiven?

I think, for most people, the application of this verse is harder. 

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Why are we so easy to extend God's forgiveness to others, reminding others of God's love for them, and tell them how easy it is to be forgiven, but not do those same things for ourselves?

Why do we believe that our sin, is the unforgivable one? Why do we believe that our sin, is the one God will remember?

Don't take this the wrong way, but you're not special enough for that. 

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Hear me out, this is a good thing: 

The LORD God Almighty, Make of Heaven and Earth, Creator of all, inspired scripture for all, written in it's entirety for all human kind, from the beginning of time to the end of time.  Scripture will never change, our God will never change. His word is complete, final, and true. 

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End." - Revelation 22:13

"Then the angel said to me, "Everything you have heard and seen is trustworthy and true. The Lord God, who inspires his prophets, has sent his angel to tell his servants what will happen soon." 

- Revelation 22: 6

"I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll." 

- Revelation 22: 18-19

So what He tells us, we can believe. We can take Him at His word, and know, that the words written in scripture, are for us. This promise of forgiveness is for you. It's for me. 

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When we say to God: "Well, You could never forgive my sin, it's too much!" You are telling Him: "I know You gave Your word, but You don't understand God, I'm a special case. Your word isn't enough for me!"

And that's just not true. You aren't special enough to be singled out like that. You are part of God's creation, He knew you before time, and you are included in the thought that inspired this promise. 

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, 

before you were born I set you apart…" 

- Jeremiah 1:5

God knew you before you were. He knew what you would do, and He knew what He would need to forgive, and He said He is able. 

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 

- 1 John 1:9

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God's promise is clear: Your sins are forgiven, and cast away from you as far as the east is from the west. As in, they will never return to you again. 

Scripture is true, we can take God at His word, knowing that each promise is for us, and will stand until the end of time. 

And finally, we can trust, that our God is willing and able to forgive us our sins when we ask Him to. 

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The next time you're feeling like your sins are just too much for God to forget, remember these things, and remember: you're just not special enough for that. God's promises are for you too, given to you too, and will be completed in your life when you allow God to work. 

Author's Note: A Challenge for Every Congregation

I didn't write yesterday because of my schedule, but after some thought, it was probably best that I took a day off anyway. I know I said I wanted to write daily, but in order to write this blog, I need to have a clear mind and heart before God, and to be honest, I've been working through some things the last few days.

It's important for you to understand that I don't write this blog because I have everything in scripture figured out, or because I've mastered living the Christian life, or because I have all the answers- I haven't done any of those things- I write this blog, because God has laid it on my heart to share, and to be vulnerable, as I am walking my path with Jesus, as I am learning more about following Him every day, as I am becoming who I'm supposed to be. 

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I am a pastor's wife and pastor's daughter. People have expected a lot from me my entire life, and I've always held myself to a high standard, but I am still just a person. I hesitate to say too much on this subject, but congregations in general put too much pressure on their pastors and pastor's family to be perfect little people, framed out in perfect little boxes.

Pastors, and pastor's families are not perfect people, they are just people. 

People like you.

We have various senses of humor, we watch sports, we have hobbies that don't involve church, we listen to secular music, we go to movies, we follow fashion trends, we like to have fun, we get grumpy, we struggle, and we sin.

We are just people.

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I am exposing my heart publicly because this is what God has asked me to do, but you must understand, I am just a person, struggling with many of the same things that some of you may struggle with. Your standard for me cannot be higher because my husband stands in the pulpit every Sunday, and your standard for him must not be more than what scripture requires, he is still just a person, doing his best to honor God.

I say all of this, to challenge you:

First, I want to challenge you to get to know your pastor. Get to know him as a person, as a friend. He is worth getting to know, and I'm sure he'd appreciate your friendship. He longs to be treated like everybody else.

Second, I want to challenge you to pray for your pastor & his family. They are called to live a certain way, and that requires strength and courage. Pray for wisdom and discernment, pray for health, pray for love& peace to reign in their homes & marriages, and for God's protection over them. They are being attacked every day, and we covet the prayers of our congregation.

Thirdly, I challenge you to support your pastor and his family. Show love to them, understanding that ministry can be very draining and discouraging. Use the words: "please" and "thank you", understanding that yes, they are there to serve, but not to be walked over. And finally, support them with words of encouragement, because, sometimes, pastors are left wondering if anyone is really listening at all.

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I also say all of this to challenge me. Because I am a pastor's wife, standing behind my pastor husband, and raising my children in a pastor's home. This is the life I have been called to, and I have to live up to the calling.

But as I am learning to live in Christ more and more each day, I am writing this blog to help me remember that I am just a person, and am not capable of doing anything, but through the power of Christ in me.

My standard must be high, but not higher than Christ requires. I must only be a willing vessel for Him, I must only surrender to Him every day, and allow Him to use me as He sees fit. I must love my husband and children, and stand behind them, wherever God leads us.

And when I fail, God's forgiveness is available to me too, and He will help me pick myself back up, dust myself off, and try again the next day.

Because that is my calling, that's why I'm here.

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I hope this challenge will sink down deep for you, I hope you will understand the truth spoken here, and remember it the next time you interact with your pastor & his family.

We are just people, living our lives very publicly, doing the best we can.


With Love,

Your Local Pastor's Wife