Becoming One

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.' ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one.” 

- Mark 10:6-8 (NIV)

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In today's society, with all of our busy lifestyles and addictive technology, sharing quality time with another person can be really difficult. We may spend a lot of time with someone, but how often are we sharing coffee over text messaging instead of heart to heart, eye-contact conversation? How often do we forgo seeing someone in person because we can face-time them, or message them online? And for some of us, we'd love to be able to see friends, but there's just no time, our days are so jam packed full. As a society, we have grown cold, satisfied with half-full relationships, suffocated by 'things' instead of flourishing in the original intention that God had when He created us relational beings. 

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Marriage is a holy union put in place by God. And today's scripture reminds us that when two people become married, they are no longer two individual lives, but they are joined together into one. 

Two lives merge. Two personalities, two sets of dreams, two outlooks, two opinions, two joys, two failures, two persons, two spirits…become one. 

How do we become one, and maintain being one, when we do not spend quality time with our spouses?

Being one with your spouse requires you to know your spouse, and that 'knowing' happens through living life together, through trial and through triumph, through commitment, through loving each other well. 

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I am a person that requires quality time with my husband. People do not all feel, offer, and receive love in the same way as another person, each of us being wired differently, and so quality time may not be something you crave. But for me, being alone with my husband, talking about life and laughing together, is one of my favorite things to do, because it is just him & I, and we are together, investing in each other, enjoying life together. I need this time with him, in order for my "love tank" to be all filled up, and it's what my soul feeds from during the long week when our time together is more about children, grocery shopping, bills, household maintenance, and work. Quality time is what makes me feel connected to Andrew, how I feel "one" with him. 

As married couples, it is so important to find your "thing", because every couple is different. Tonight's scripture reminds us that God desires for every married couple to become one, to let go of previous lives, and join with another person. God unites our hearts in marriage, and it's through becoming one, that we are able to withstand the stresses of life. When we are one with our spouse, trouble will come, but it will not destroy, because the strength of your marriage will be sound. You are knit together, with Christ being the last piece, and nothing will separate you. 

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As Christians in todays society, it is even more important for us to be actively striving to be one with our spouse. Divorce, neglect, abuse, adultery, are all common in households across our world, but they must not be common in Christian marriages. This is not God's desire, not His design for marriage. 

He's given us the blueprint for a strong, healthy marriage, and it starts with being one with your spouse. 

Whatever is holding you back, from becoming one with your spouse today, get rid of it. It's not important. Make the time, put away life's distractions, and commit to giving yourself to your spouse, letting go of your previous life, and becoming one.