Use Your Words

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." 
- Proverbs 15:1

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Our oldest daughter, Abby, is in that terrible middle school stage of life. She feels so much pressure from her peers and the world around her to be a grown up lady, but emotionally and mentally, she's still a girl, just trying to navigate life and figure things out. I wish I could fast forward these years ahead for her, remembering myself how awful this stage was, but we all had to go through it, and somehow, most of us survived. 

Lately, one of the things I've been working on with her, is being able to talk about what she's feeling, and use her words to communicate. 

When a toddler is learning to speak, you might hear her Mom say: "Use your words!" instead of pointing at something she wants. And when a older boy is fighting with his brother over a toy, you might hear his Mom say: "Stop fighting, use your words!" But even now, at going on 12, I have to remind Abby that I cannot read her mind, and she must, no matter how uncomfortable or embarrassing, use her words to tell me what she wants me to know. 

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You know, we laugh because this phrase: "Use your words" is often associated with a child, but adults need to be reminded too, if not more, how important their words are. 

Our words are so important to God, in fact, that He makes mention of it quite a few times in scripture, repeating throughout, the importance of our words, and how they effect what we do, how people receive us, and how we love others. In a quick study, I counted 59 places that our manner of speech was noted in scripture. Below are just a few: 

Psalm 19:14: 
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Proverbs 15:4:
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 16:24:
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Ephesians 4:15: 

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 

Colossians 3:8: 
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

Repeat lessons in scripture are the ones that we must be extra careful to learn and hold close, because the repeat lessons are most important to God- otherwise, He wouldn't repeat Himself. Makes sense, right? God is our Father, and just like I need to remind my daughter to use her words, God has to remind us, His children, to use our words as well. 

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Last night I wrote about forgiveness, and how important it is to forgive someone who has hurt you. 

But what if you're the accuser, and you don't know how to make it right with the person you hurt? 

Scripture makes it pretty clear what you need to do: apologize! 

Todays verse reminds us: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." - Proverbs 15:1

If you are trying to make amends with someone, if you wronged them, if you are seeking reconciliation, than use gentle words. Gentle words will heal, but harsh words will only stir the pot more, creating more harm. 

This seems simple enough, but how many of us need to be reminded to control our words? 

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I would encourage you today, to watch your tongue, and use your words wisely. Use your words today to build up and to encourage, to heal and to protect, to show love, and to preserve life. 

God will honor your words, when they are spoken in love. God will direct your tongue, and help you communicate with those around you better, test it out and see.